- Darrin: Mrs. Heck, you're giving her the first clue. You'll be here with doughnuts in the morning.
- Frankie Heck: Are you providing the doughnuts?
- Darrin: Yeah.
- Frankie Heck: Better make it two boxes.
- Frankie Heck: Well, apparently Doris would rather live over at the Donahues'.
- Mike Heck: Get in line, Doris.
- Frankie Heck: You doing anything special with Cindy for Valentine's Day?
- Brick Heck: Oh, right. Cindy. I'm not sure we're still going out.
- Frankie Heck: What do you mean you're not sure?
- Brick Heck: I don't know. We haven't really talked for a few months.
- Frankie Heck: Why? Did something happen?
- Brick Heck: No, nothing I can think of. She might have been sick for awhile. Or she moved. No, wait, she sits behind me in homeroom.
- Frankie Heck: Mike! I'm talking to your son about dating! Get in here!
- Mike Heck: No.
- Frankie Heck: Mike, seriously, get in here! Talk to your son.
- Mike Heck: No. I've got nothing to add.
- Axl Heck: Just put your mouth on her mouth. And remember this code I made up - "Keep it simple, stupid."
- Brick Heck: Oh, I get it. K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid.
- Axl Heck: Oh, yeah. I never thought about that. Wow! I am good.
- Devin Levin: Do you know there's throw-up on your steps?
- Axl Heck: Mm, yeah, it's supposed to rain tomorrow.
- Brick Heck: Who schedules a kiss? You know what else is scheduled? Executions. What I wouldn't give to be a complacent married couple right now.
- Mike Heck: Lots of kisses led up to this freedom.