Scream Queens (TV Series)

Ghost Stories (2015)

Lea Michele: Hester Ulrich

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hester Ulrich : Well, I guess we'll just have to see how it goes bringing Chanel home for thanksgiving.

  Chad Radwell : Yeah, I guess we will see, as that's what's going to happen.

  Hester Ulrich : I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

  Chad Radwell : Yeah, we will wait and see, as thanksgiving is an event that takes place in the future, and therefore it hasn't happened yet.

  Hester Ulrich : We'll see.

  Chad Radwell : Yep, sure will, as the arrow of time flows in one direction causing future events to flow inexorably towards us.

• Chanel Oberlin : Thanksgiving is next Thursday, and if any of you stupid whores ever cracked a book every now and again, you'd know I'm dressed as Sacajawea. She helped the Pilgrims with their harvest on what is now known as the first Thanksgiving.

  Hester Ulrich : No she didn't, you're thinking of Squanto.

  Chanel Oberlin : Um, no. Squanto was friends with The Lone Ranger.

  Chanel #3 : Sacajawea guided the Lewis and Clark expedition.

  Chanel Oberlin : What? No way! Sacajawea taught the Pilgrims how to make cranberry sauce and then, like, sang Blue Corn Moon or something.

  Hester Ulrich : That was Pocahontas.

  Chanel Oberlin : Dammit, are you serious? I'm trying to impress Mr. and Mrs. Radwell and I just spent two hours dressing up as the hag who didn't realize she was the third wheel on Lewis and Clark's gay camping extravaganza!

• Chanel Oberlin : I actually don't care that tonight's the last night of Kappa Kappa Tau because I have successfully used this sorority for its proper, god-given purpose.

  Hester Ulrich : To be part of a sisterhood and make lifelong friends!

  Chanel Oberlin : Eww. No. For making me popular enough to get a hot, rich husband!

• Chanel Oberlin : I'm about to be, like, *super* rich.

  Chanel #5 : Not if the ghost murders you first.

  Chanel #3 : Or it follows you home and murders you here.

  Hester Ulrich : Or if you get murdered tonight because it's the last night of Kappa Kappa Tau and it seems *highly* likely that the killer will come after us.