- Gina Linetti: Uh, Jake, wait. What are you doing? Give me the ring.
- Jake Peralta: Ha! You sound like Gollum.
- Gina Linetti: That means nothing to me. I don't see those movies, I'm too pretty.
- Terry Jeffords: [Holt has officiated at the wedding] I gotta hand it to you, Captain. That was some ceremony.
- Captain Ray Holt: It wasn't difficult. I simply said what I wish had been said when Kevin and I got married.
- Kevin Cozner: Oh, well, then I never would have heard your hilarious "efficient/officiant" quip.
- Captain Ray Holt: Hmm, you're right. I regret nothing. But all this does make me think I might enjoy a more festive expression of our commitment to one another.
- Kevin Cozner: Are you suggesting we hold an honest to goodness wedding?
- Captain Ray Holt: Hmm. Nothing too elaborate. We're not the Kardashian-Wests, after all. They are a musician and a celebrity personality who recently wedded.
- Kevin Cozner: Yes, yes, I know, they were answers on Jeopardy.
- Captain Ray Holt: I think you mean questions.
- [Both laugh]
- Terry Jeffords: [pauses] You guys are fun.
- Jake Peralta: I love this. Tux on, guns out- I feel like James Bond, and you are my mysterious femme fatale that I've been partnered with: Maxi... Pads.
- Amy Santiago: Maxi Pads?
- Jake Peralta: I don't know! I didn't want to make the name too sexual and I panicked!
- Amy Santiago: Gregor Minsk, the counterfeiter I've been chasing for two years has finally resurfaced. And he's just as evil as ever.
- Jake Peralta: Right, you hate him because he has a typo on his counterfeit bills.
- Amy Santiago: No, because he passed 4 million dollars in fraudulent bills, Jake. But also, two r's in "pluribus"? I mean, did none of those cashiers take Latin?
- Gina Linetti: [Gina has fixed the smoke machine] I fixed this!
- Charles Boyle: It's working! How'd you do that?
- Gina Linetti: I grew up with a smoke machine in the apartment, Charles. I like to enter the kitchen in the morning with vivacity.
- Captain Ray Holt: I'm having some trouble with my speech. All I've got so far is a poem.
- Terry Jeffords: Ooh, a poem. Sounds romantic.
- Captain Ray Holt: [Reads] "Marriage is a contract between two adults of different families."
- [Terry gives him a look]
- Captain Ray Holt: It's a haiku... and a fact. It works on two levels.