- Bob Belcher: There must be something I can do to get in. You know what? I'm gonna walk down there and talk to the garden master.
- Linda Belcher: Oh, Cynthia? Good luck with that piece of work.
- Louise Belcher: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cynthia as in Logan's mom? As in Logan, my archenemy?
- Bob Belcher: Yeah.
- Louise Belcher: Tell her to tell Logan he's a...
- [blows raspberry]
- Louise Belcher: and his head looks like...
- [blows raspberry]
- Louise Belcher: and his face sounds like...
- [blows raspberry]
- Louise Belcher: . He'll know what it means.
- Bob Belcher: I... uh, I probably won't do that, Louise.
- Louise Belcher: Do you want me to write it down then?
- Bob Belcher: Um, yeah, go ahead.
- Bob Belcher: Louise, I really, really want this garden. Plus, it will be good for all of us. We're gonna grow fresh produce for the restaurant. Doesn't that sound great?
- Louise Belcher: Dad, I'm nine. I spit out vegetables and hide them around the house.
- Tina Belcher: [after Bob only gets a packet of seeds instead of an acceptance letter to the community garden] Why would they send those?
- Bob Belcher: I don't know, Tina. I guess to remind me of the beautiful place that exists that I'll never get to be a part of!
- Tina Belcher: Like the boys' locker room.
- Gene Belcher: Or New York in the '90s!
- Bob Belcher: Mike, I know you're just the mailman, but I can't help thinking you did this.
- Mike: Sure, blame me for this, but you never thank me for the letters I don't deliver.
- Gene Belcher: [about Logan volunteering at the restaurant] Finally, we're getting a little more sausage at this party.
- Bob Belcher: Okay, I'm off to the garden!
- Linda Belcher: Is that my sun hat?
- Bob Belcher: Uh, yeah. Can I borrow it?
- Linda Belcher: I guess, but you look like a British lady.
- Bob Belcher: I know. Thanks.
- Linda Belcher: You know, do what you got to do, Bobby. If you have to sleep with her to get in, it's okay. I don't like her, but whatever it takes.
- Bob Belcher: Way ahead of you, Lin.
- Cynthia: [to Bob about Logan] I'm trying to get him into this college prep summer program, but he doesn't have enough extracurricular activities.
- Bob Belcher: Like, uh, volunteering?
- Cynthia: [scoffs] Volunteering. Everyone's doing that. You can't throw a rock without hitting a kid volunteering at a hospice.
- Bob Belcher: Oh, I hate those kids who volunteer at hospices.
- Louise Belcher: [to Bob] It's a joke. You'd never really hire Logan.
- Bob Belcher: It's just temporary, Louise. Logan's mom was nice enough to find me a plot at the community garden because...
- Logan: Because he gave me this crappy job.
- Bob Belcher: It's not crappy. Don't... don't say that, but if your mom asks, it's... it's crappy.
- Louise Belcher: This is a terrible idea, Dad. You've taken the only good thing about this restaurant: its lack of Logan and you added Logan!
- Logan: That is not appropriate for the workplace.
- Louise Belcher: You are not appropriate for the workplace!
- Logan: You're not appropriate for your face!
- Gene Belcher: [about Louise and Logan] I bet when you reconnect in your thirties, you guys will get married.
- Louise Belcher: I don't know if I can take Logan much longer before I slap that mess.
- Linda Belcher: Yeah, how long is this gonna last, Bob?
- Bob Belcher: Uh, probably just until Logan gets into that summer program thing and then we're home free, rolling in arugula. So just try and ignore Cynthia and Logan.
- Louise Belcher: Start slapping faces. Got it.
- Bob Belcher: No! No slapping. Just ignoring.
- Louise Belcher: Fine. But just so you know, I got this guy and this guy, and they're ready to go to work.
- Cynthia: [while writing Logan's essay] Is "slop shop" one word or two?
- Linda Belcher: You know what you should write about? A very violent event involving your computer and a simple lady who snapped! Kids, get a mop! You're about to clean Cynthia's laptop off the floor!
- Linda Belcher: Everything's going great! I was just about to proofread Cynthia's essay with my foot.
- Louise Belcher: And I was just gonna use my hands to make a Logan face sandwich.
- Louise Belcher: [to Bob about Logan] Wait, you're paying this butt brain?
- Logan: My butt does have brains. They're called turds and they're smarter than you.
- Linda Belcher: [about Louise and Logan] Bob, if they're gonna just fight the whole time, he's not gonna be much help.
- Bob Belcher: Just let them get it out of their system. It's almost like they're playing.
- Tina Belcher: I'm okay with him. I can pick his brain about mid-teen boys. Find out what tickles their pits.
- Bob Belcher: That's a great attitude, Tina.
- Tina Belcher: [to Logan] So, uh, what do high school boys talk about? Follow-up question. Do you talk about it in the shower after you do sports? Additional follow-up question. How hot is the water? Does it produce steam? I'm asking for a friend.
- Logan: Yeah, that's classified, top-secret guy stuff, so...
- Tina Belcher: Right, right, right, right.
- Louise Belcher: Hey, Mom, how you doing?
- Linda Belcher: Good.
- Louise Belcher: So, are we really sure this Logan thing is worth it? I mean, Dad's a family member, but he's ranked, like, 4th or 5th.
- Linda Belcher: Louise, it's not that bad. Plus, your father needs this and you owe him one. You de-zested his zester. Let him have the garden.
- [Louise groans]
- Linda Belcher: Sometimes you just got to be around people you don't like.
- Cynthia: [as she comes into the restaurant] Oh, look at this place.
- Linda Belcher: Oh, God, it's her.