Bob's Burgers (TV Series)

Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise (2015)

H. Jon Benjamin: Bob Belcher

Quotes 

• Bob Belcher : There must be something I can do to get in. You know what? I'm gonna walk down there and talk to the garden master.

  Linda Belcher : Oh, Cynthia? Good luck with that piece of work.

  Louise Belcher : Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cynthia as in Logan's mom? As in Logan, my archenemy?

  Bob Belcher : Yeah.

  Louise Belcher : Tell her to tell Logan he's a...

  [blows raspberry] 

  Louise Belcher : and his head looks like...

  [blows raspberry] 

  Louise Belcher : and his face sounds like...

  [blows raspberry] 

  Louise Belcher : . He'll know what it means.

  Bob Belcher : I... uh, I probably won't do that, Louise.

  Louise Belcher : Do you want me to write it down then?

  Bob Belcher : Um, yeah, go ahead.

• Bob Belcher : Louise, I really, really want this garden. Plus, it will be good for all of us. We're gonna grow fresh produce for the restaurant. Doesn't that sound great?

  Louise Belcher : Dad, I'm nine. I spit out vegetables and hide them around the house.

• Tina Belcher : [after Bob only gets a packet of seeds instead of an acceptance letter to the community garden]  Why would they send those?

  Bob Belcher : I don't know, Tina. I guess to remind me of the beautiful place that exists that I'll never get to be a part of!

  Tina Belcher : Like the boys' locker room.

  Gene Belcher : Or New York in the '90s!

• Bob Belcher : Mike, I know you're just the mailman, but I can't help thinking you did this.

  Mike : Sure, blame me for this, but you never thank me for the letters I don't deliver.

• Bob Belcher : Okay, I'm off to the garden!

  Linda Belcher : Is that my sun hat?

  Bob Belcher : Uh, yeah. Can I borrow it?

  Linda Belcher : I guess, but you look like a British lady.

  Bob Belcher : I know. Thanks.

• Linda Belcher : You know, do what you got to do, Bobby. If you have to sleep with her to get in, it's okay. I don't like her, but whatever it takes.

  Bob Belcher : Way ahead of you, Lin.

• Cynthia : [to Bob about Logan]  I'm trying to get him into this college prep summer program, but he doesn't have enough extracurricular activities.

  Bob Belcher : Like, uh, volunteering?

  Cynthia : [scoffs]  Volunteering. Everyone's doing that. You can't throw a rock without hitting a kid volunteering at a hospice.

  Bob Belcher : Oh, I hate those kids who volunteer at hospices.

• Louise Belcher : [to Bob]  It's a joke. You'd never really hire Logan.

  Bob Belcher : It's just temporary, Louise. Logan's mom was nice enough to find me a plot at the community garden because...

  Logan : Because he gave me this crappy job.

  Bob Belcher : It's not crappy. Don't... don't say that, but if your mom asks, it's... it's crappy.

• Louise Belcher : I don't know if I can take Logan much longer before I slap that mess.

  Linda Belcher : Yeah, how long is this gonna last, Bob?

  Bob Belcher : Uh, probably just until Logan gets into that summer program thing and then we're home free, rolling in arugula. So just try and ignore Cynthia and Logan.

  Louise Belcher : Start slapping faces. Got it.

  Bob Belcher : No! No slapping. Just ignoring.

  Louise Belcher : Fine. But just so you know, I got this guy and this guy, and they're ready to go to work.

• Linda Belcher : [about Louise and Logan]  Bob, if they're gonna just fight the whole time, he's not gonna be much help.

  Bob Belcher : Just let them get it out of their system. It's almost like they're playing.

  Tina Belcher : I'm okay with him. I can pick his brain about mid-teen boys. Find out what tickles their pits.

  Bob Belcher : That's a great attitude, Tina.