- Stewie Griffin: And Italians before pasta.
- [the Italians make "Ey!" sounds and say some random words]
- Stewie Griffin: They were always a ridiculous people.
- Tony Sirico: Hey, Family Guy. You're lucky I got a manicotti in the oven, or I'd bash your head into a bolognese! That's two kinds of food. That's how angry I am!
- Stewie Griffin: All right, let's split up. I'll go search in first class, you go down to steerage and wait for the gross angry Italians.
- Tony Sirico: [referring back to how they also made fun of Italians earlier in the episode] That's TWO!
- Chris Griffin: Dad looks like some girl sent you pictures of her privates.
- Peter Griffin: Crap! Lois I don't have the phone! Stop sending pictures.
- Lois Griffin: I already sent four more!
- Peter Griffin: Chris put down the phone, don't look at those!
- Chris Griffin: Wait a minute! That's both of her hands, who the hell is taking the pictures?
- Chris Griffin: Screw you, Stewie. You are a jerk! And I'm gonna win that bowling tournament, with or without you!
- Stewie Griffin: What does he... What? He doesn't even know what we're preparing him for!
- Jane Austen: [enthusiastically inhaling farts] Ah! This is what FUELS me! The smell of the insides of men!
- Brian Griffin: Why not ?
- Stewie Griffin: It's like having a pick up truck. Once people know you got one - there go your weekends.