Galavant (TV Series)

Dungeons and Dragon Lady (2015)

Joshua Sasse: Galavant

Photos 

Quotes 

• Isabella : You want to know what I think? I think you're in a dungeon wondering if the woman that put you there loves you. And the real question is, why do you still love her? I mean, yes, she's beautiful, in a perfect-skin, perfect-body, perfect-hair kind of way, if you're into that sort of thing.

  Galavant : Mmm.

  Isabella : I know you, Galavant. I know your heart, and you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who will lift you up as a man. Someone who will fight with you, not against you. Maybe someone who's small and cute and... ethnically hard to pin down.

  Galavant : [hesitates]  What you're saying is, you don't think she loves me?

• Galavant : We were gonna live in a cottage by the sea. We were gonna make love, plant a garden, have children. I was gonna sing songs of your beauty.

  Madalena : Oh, Gal, that sounds awful. Look around! I live in a castle! And you know what I've learned about myself? I really like stuff. I mean, why would I give all this up to get fat and pregnant and grow my own food?

• Isabella : I thought you were dead!

  Galavant : You mean, because you betrayed me, you thought they would hang me? Because you betrayed me?

  Sid : Oh, trust me, sir, I have been guilting the crap out of her down here!

• Madalena : I have a plan that will allow me to remain as queen, and you will be well-taken care of as my... special companion.

  Galavant : Your boy-toy, you mean? Is that how you see me? Hmm? As some well-groomed, ruggedly-handsome yet oddly delicate-featured plaything?

  Madalena : Yeah.

• Galavant : Oh, God, you must feel really bad. You're babbling. You only babble when you feel *really* bad.

  Isabella : I do not babble when I feel bad.

  Galavant : I'm not saying it's a bad thing. To be honest, I've rather grown to like it. But you do babble, Princess. Princess Isababble.

• [singing a Disney-like love song] 

  Galavant : Love is... strange.

  Isabella : And sometimes kinda gross. It's embarrassingly gassy, and it leaves its dirty underwear in piles around the place. Love is rude, it has a sort of smell, and it thinks that you don't notice. And it blurts out things that make you want to smack its stupid face. And it's awkward and confusing, it annoys you half to death. Then it grins a dopey grin and you can't catch your breath.

  Galavant : Love is strange and sometimes sort of smug, and it's really, really bossy. And it messes with your head 'til you're a hopeless basket case.

  Isabella : And it's stubborn.

  Galavant : It's insulting.

  Isabella : It's obnoxious.

  Galavant : It's the worst.

  Galavant , Isabella : You keep pushing it away and you fall in head first. Love is strange!

  Isabella : And often pretty drunk

  Galavant : It looks different without makeup.

  Galavant , Isabella : And it's nothing like the fairytales you grow up dreaming of.

  Galavant : Love is weird.

  Isabella : Love is dumb.

  Galavant , Isabella : Love is strange, and that's what makes it love.

• Galavant : Madalena, I've got something to say and I've come a really, really long way to say it.

  [sappy music swells and she realizes he's about to burst into song] 

  Madalena : Oh, no.

  Galavant : [singing]  I want you, I need you, you cut me and I bleed you! You're like some kind of sonnet, all I want to do is read you. And I love you.

  Madalena : I know.

  Galavant : I mean I love you.

  Madalena : Yes, thanks.

  Galavant : I said I love you.

  Madalena : You did.

  Galavant : And now don't you wanna tell me something too?

  [the music switches to a tango] 

  Madalena : I love you!... as much as someone like me can love anyone.

  Galavant : Huh?

  Madalena : I mean I love how we make people stare, we're quite the stunning pair.

  Galavant : In other words you love me?

  Madalena : As much as someone like me can love anyone.

• Madalena : I love how when we hit the hay, it's more than just okay.

  Galavant : Right!

  Madalena : I'd absolutely say more like middling to fair.

  Galavant : Yeah! Wait, what?

• Isabella : The point is, Queen Madalena, you have the jewel and you have Galavant. You must release my parents!

  Madalena : Must I?

  Isabella : Yes. You have to!

  Madalena : Have I?

  Isabella : Yes...

  Madalena : Really?

  Isabella : Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?

  Madalena : Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?

  Isabella : You don't hear it?

  Galavant : You're sort of doing it... a little bit...