Galavant (TV Series)
Joust Friends (2015)
Joshua Sasse: Galavant
Photos
Quotes
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Galavant : [Doubled over, gasping for breath] I'm out of shape. That was a long song.
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Jean Hamm : I can tell you want to bail. I'll give you five seconds to bail.
Galavant : I don't want to bail.
Jean Hamm : I do.
Galavant : You do?
Jean Hamm : Oh, yes. I want to bail your mama out of jail when she gets arrested for prostitution!
Galavant : [sighs] You know what, Jean? It's... it's 1256.
Jean Hamm : Mmm?
Galavant : The "your mama" jokes... they're getting really old.
Jean Hamm : Hmm, so is your mama.
Galavant : Seriously, Jean. It's getting really worn out.
Jean Hamm : So is...
Galavant : Don't.
Jean Hamm : ...your mama!
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King Richard : [singing] You're frigid and demanding. I shudder at your call.
Madalena : Whenever you come near me, my flesh begins to crawl.
King Richard , Madalena : But sometimes there are moments I'm not repelled at all. Maybe you're not the worst thing ever.
Isabella : You're utterly disgusting. I loath your manly stink.
Galavant : I see your mouth start moving and, God, I need a drink.
Galavant , Isabella : And then from out of nowhere, I'll look at you and think, maybe you're not the worst thing ever.
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[singing]
Galavant : I ride to save my one true love.
Sid : Though she ripped your heart in two.
Galavant : Not true.
Sid : Pretty true.
Isabella : Very true.
Galavant : To destroy the king she was forced to wed.
Isabella : More like *chose* to wed.
Galavant : Not true.
Isabella : Kinda true.
Sid : Gotta say, sorta true.
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Galavant : Princess, can we stop the horses? Yours looks so much softer.
Isabella : Oh! What is wrong with you? All you've done since we left is complain. You're supposed to be a bloody hero.
Galavant : And I've got every intention of being one, Princess. I'm gonna save Madalena. I'm gonna get your kingdom back.
[Smugly]
Galavant : There's gonna be some pretty legendary heroing happening around here pretty damn soon.
[He licks his finger and holds it up briefly]
Galavant : It's gonna be dark soon. And this road is gonna be filled with bad guys who'd like nothing more than to have their way with your tight brown body.
Isabella : [Highly insulted] How dare you?
Galavant : I was talking to Sid.
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Galavant : I feel like I'm back to my old self again. King Dick's not gonna know what hit him.