Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)

Afterlife (2015)

Clark Gregg: Phil Coulson

Quotes 

• Honest Eddie : [Coulson is looking at cars]  Can I let you in on a little secret? I've got a genuine, honest Abe, God-given superpower. You want to know what it is?

  Phil Coulson : I'm afraid to guess.

  Honest Eddie : I can look at any man and tell him exactly what kind of car he should be driving.

  Phil Coulson : Maybe I'll just look around.

  Honest Eddie : Y-you know, I look at you, and I see a man who's played it safe his whole life, but lately feels like he's stuck in a rut. Life's lost its thrill. The kids are monsters. The wife's taken to muumuus. And now you're thinking, "it's time to let the tiger loose."

  Phil Coulson : [after stealing a jeep]  Sorry, Eddie. Tiger's been loose for awhile.

• Lance Hunter : Maybe we should forget all this, head down to Mexico. We can lay low, enjoy the quiet life.

  Phil Coulson : That's not an option. The problem is... there are no good options.

  Lance Hunter : Well, maybe it's time for the bad ones.

• Lance Hunter : This would have been a piece of cake if you'd let us use these big boy guns. Now we have to get close enough to get shot by *their* big boy guns.

  Phil Coulson : By the time they recognize us it'll be too late.

  Lance Hunter : Then there's the small matter of who's gonna fly that thing. Do you even know how?

  Phil Coulson : I've watched May fly. I know a little.

  Lance Hunter : How little?

  Phil Coulson : I can get us off the ground.

  Lance Hunter : You do know there's more to it than that like getting us back *on* the ground... for example...

• Phil Coulson : I'm not going down without a fight. We're gonna find Skye and we're gonna take back S.H.I.E.L.D., and we're gonna need more than Honest Eddie's Jeep to do it.

  Lance Hunter : You want to take their Quinjet - the two of us, while we're trapped in here, surrounded. Brilliant.

  Phil Coulson : I have reinforcements on the way. We just have to hold down the fort until they get here.

  Lance Hunter : Yeah, well, I have reinforcements of my own.

  Phil Coulson : Icers only.

  Lance Hunter : Oh, you can't be serious.

  Phil Coulson : Those are S.H.I.E.L.D. agents out there. We're not gonna hurt them.

  Lance Hunter : I somehow doubt they feel the same about us.

  Phil Coulson : It won't come to that. It may not look like it, but this place was built to withstand a Hulk-size force. On the other hand, let's just hope they didn't bring a...

  [a battering ram hits the safe house] 

  Lance Hunter : ...battering ram, 'cause then we've only got about an hour.

• Lance Hunter : Where are the reinforcements?

  Phil Coulson : I don't know. Stuck in traffic?

  Lance Hunter : Are they traveling by clown car?

• Phil Coulson : [Referring to Gonzalez]  Maybe he's got a point. I was dead, after all. I shouldn't even be here.

  Lance Hunter : We all have our bad days.

• Lance Hunter : Why did you trigger the alarm? Are you surrendering? Last time I checked there were two of us, which means two votes.

  Phil Coulson : We're not surrendering.

  Lance Hunter : What then? You wanna go out guns blazing like Butch and Sundance? That didn't end so well.

  Phil Coulson : I was thinking about what you said last night about bad decisions.

  Lance Hunter : I meant have another drink!

• Lance Hunter : [He and Coulson are watching Mike Peterson aka Deathlok at the jet's controls]  At some point, you might have mentioned that backup was a lethal cyborg.

  Phil Coulson : Truthfully, I just wanted to see the look on your face when he showed up. Priceless.

  Lance Hunter : Glad I amuse you.

  Deathlok : You know I can hear you up here.