Norm MacDonald/Mackenzie Davis/Veruca Salt
- Episode aired May 21, 2014
- TV-14
Storyline
Did you know
- Quotes
Norm MacDonald: The big news is Oscar Pistorius.
Conan O'Brien: Yeah. Huge news.
Norm MacDonald: And, uh, I don't like him, don't care for him, never did.
Conan O'Brien: Really. You don't like Oscar Pistorius, even before he-
[notices Norm making a funny face]
Conan O'Brien: What are you doing?
Norm MacDonald: Oh, I had, I had something in my tooth.
Conan O'Brien: Okay, uh... Okay? Uh, you didn't...
Norm MacDonald: I didn't...
Conan O'Brien: ...You're saying, I mean, a lot of people don't like him NOW that he, uh...
Norm MacDonald: A lot of people...
Conan O'Brien: ...Murdered somebody, but, but, before that...
Norm MacDonald: Allegedly.
Conan O'Brien: Allegedly.
Norm MacDonald: But, uh, also, REALLY.
Conan O'Brien: Yeah.
Norm MacDonald: But, uh, yeah, I have no problems with, uh, the murder.
Conan O'Brien: Right.
[Andy laughs]
Norm MacDonald: What I never liked, I never liked him racing with them, uh, things that look like some Wile E. Coyote would order, and uh...
Conan O'Brien: What? You had a problem with him racing with his, uh...
Andy Richter: Blades.
Conan O'Brien: His "blades". He was the "blade runner".
Norm MacDonald: Yes, he was.
Conan O'Brien: Those teflon blades.
Norm MacDonald: I did have a BIG problem with it, because... let's put it this way. Let's imagine you're a runner, you know, with LEGS.
Conan O'Brien: Yeah.
Norm MacDonald: And, uh, then you go home, you go, "Oh I lost, honey." "Who'd you lose to?" "A guy with no legs."
Conan O'Brien: Wait, you- you're saying you didn't like that Oscar Pistorius raced against people with legs?
Norm MacDonald: No, I don't. I feel that, uh, one of the basic requirements of being a, a sprinter is having legs. I, I feel that they should say, "Okay, let's, listen, here's the, hey, what about you? Uh, I don't think you can be on the team." "Why not?" "Well, you h- you're not a biped. You have no legs, so scram. Take your time, as long as you want,
[Andy laughs]
Norm MacDonald: but get the hell out of here."
Conan O'Brien: No one's going with you on this. Nobody is with you on this at all.
Norm MacDonald: Except the feller at home that's like, "That's the son of a bitch I lost my race to, that's got no legs."
Conan O'Brien: Are you saying he had an unfair advantage because he had these?
Norm MacDonald: Well of COURSE. He had these rocketships.
Conan O'Brien: They're not rocketships! Andy, help me out here!
Andy Richter: No, he still has- it's still HIM running.
Norm MacDonald: [sarcastic] Oh yes, well, guys, I agree with you guys, then: Oscar Pistorius is a scholar and a gentleman.
Conan O'Brien: All right...
Norm MacDonald: He's a MURDERER!
Conan O'Brien: Alleged! Alleged murderer!
- SoundtracksConan
Written by Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Band
Performed by Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Band