- [first lines]
- Elka Ostrovsky: Look at our baby; he's so depressed.
- Melanie Moretti: Maybe we should just take him back to the vet.
- Joy Scroggs: No, the vet said he was fine physically.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Well, maybe he's just sad because Joy looks like a bone he can't chew on.
- Victoria Chase: Or maybe because for every one of our years he ages seven. That would depress the hell out of me.
- Joy Scroggs: [about the dog] Maybe there's something we can do to cheer him up. What do I do when I need cheering up?
- Elka Ostrovsky: He can't do that, Joy. He's been fixed.
- Dr. Deb: This is a very unusual family arrangement you have here; I mean, three grown sisters living with their mother.
- Elka Ostrovsky: [pointing at Joy] Oh, she's not our mother.
- Melanie Moretti: I thought you guys were supposed to be getting along.
- Joy Scroggs: We tried all morning not to snipe at each other, and knowing we can't snipe at each other only made us snipe at each other more.
- Melanie Moretti: Well, you can't run away from the problem.
- Joy Scroggs: The problem is 92 years old; I think I can.
- Melanie Moretti: [to radio caller] Why don't you just cut the guy some slack? And if you have to criticize him, do it *after* sex. That way he associates criticism with pleasure.
- [last lines]
- Joy Scroggs: Hey, if we didn't depress George, we didn't do anything wrong. We can go back to the way things were. Go on, I'll buy you a cup of coffee, you old biddy.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Coffee with a tart. Sounds good to me.