- Abbie Mills: Just send her a text. It's the way it's done these days.
- Ichabod Crane: A missive composed by thumb cannot adequately convey emotion.
- Abbie Mills: Hence, emoticons.
- Ichabod Crane: Oh! Yes. A grimacing lemon caricature. That should do the trick. No. I've hurt Miss Caroline's feelings. And I intend to apologize face to face, as a gentleman should.
- Caroline: Your dedication to colonial reenactment is so impressive. You never break character.
- Ichabod Crane: Well, one might say it's a way of life.
- Caroline: I think it's inspiring. And to be honest... kind of... attractive.
- Ichabod Crane: [realization dawns] Oh.
- [He slowly backs up. She slowly steps forward]
- Ichabod Crane: Miss Caroline... words cannot express how flattered I am.
- Caroline: Then don't use words.
- Ichabod Crane: [Trapped against the back of the couch] I'm a married man.
- Caroline: Oh.
- [She backs up a step]
- Caroline: I'm so sorry.
- Ichabod Crane: No...
- Caroline: You live alone. You never talk about her. There's no photos of her around. I assumed you were single or... separated or... a widower.
- Ichabod Crane: No, I assure you my wife is alive and well-
- [Abbie walks in]
- Abbie Mills: [Surprised at the looks on their faces] Didn't mean to interrupt.
- Caroline: I am such an idiot. This is *not* what it looks like, Mrs. Crane.
- Abbie Mills: Mrs. Who now?
- Ichabod Crane: Oh, no, no. Uh... Miss Mills is my partner.
- [Caroline is hastily gathering her things while Abby is smiling, clearly enjoying Crane's embarrassment]
- Ichabod Crane: Not- not... life partner. She's my... we... Oh, look! She comes baring a selection of delicacies from the Far East.
- Abbie Mills: Commonly known as Yummy Foo's Szechuan.
- Caroline: I'll be going now. Excuse me.
- [Rushes out the door]
- Ichabod Crane: No, Miss Caroline... please.
- [Closes the door after her]
- Abbie Mills: We need a signal. We need to hang a tie on the doorknob or something.
- [laughs]
- Ichabod Crane: Our mission as witnesses puts those for whom we care the most in terrible danger.
- Abbie Mills: But if we don't do this job, those same people will die in Moloch's apocalypse.
- Ichabod Crane: Our duty must be to one another before anything... or anyone.
- Abbie Mills: This is another Katrina thing, isn't it?
- Ichabod Crane: Marriage is difficult on the best day, but without trust... without honesty... How can a union between two people hope to survive?
- [they toast]