- Laura Diamond: Maximillia, what's up?
- Max Carnegie: 911 call from New Hall!
- [Laura races to the address, enters a room with walls covered in red]
- Laura Diamond: This is a depraved, unspeakable act! I am sickened. Get ready to be inside for a very long time! Life as you know it is over! What do you have to say for yourselves?
- Nicholas Broderick, Harrison Broderick: Sorry Mommy!
- Deedee Walden: Please tell me you're NYPD
- Dan Hauser: Yes ma'am, captain Dan Hauser, my colleague detective Laura Diamond
- Deedee Walden: A middle-aged police woman! Just like on TV! I love that
- Laura Diamond: How awkward of you to say
- Deedee Walden: It's clear your face has seen so much
- Dan Hauser: Can I ask you why you're still wearing your wedding ring?
- Laura Diamond: I just haven't gotten around to taking it off
- Principal: I am afraid your boys are no longer welcome in the New Hall community
- Laura Diamond: Wow, wow, wow, no, no, no, no! I don't need them to be welcome, I just need to drop them off at 8 and pick them up at 5. Isn't there some kind of a detention hall?
- Principal: They are expelled! Done! Gone!
- Nicholas Broderick, Harrison Broderick: YEAH!
- Laura Diamond: So, get the valet to open the car
- Billy Soto: Yeah, How I am supposed to do that without a warrant?
- Laura Diamond: [sigh] Oh Billy
- [dances to the valet]
- Laura Diamond: Hi! Oh... I am so glad it's you, sweetie! I left something personal in my husband's car... my underwear
- [giggles]
- Laura Diamond: We like to spice it up every other Wednesday. Anyway I just had a Brazilian and I'm feeling a little drafty... but if I have to interrupt my husband class, I will never hear the end of it! Please help me!
- [Valet opens the car]
- Laura Diamond: Hiiii, thank you!