Tom Holland credited as playing...
Peter Parker • Spider-Man
- Spider-Man: Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?
- War Machine: Jesus, Tony, how old is this guy?
- Iron Man: I don't know, I didn't carbon date him. He's on the young side.
- Tony Stark: Got a passport?
- Peter Parker: [chuckling] Um, no. I don't... I don't even have a driver's license.
- Tony Stark: You ever been to Germany?
- Peter Parker: No.
- Tony Stark: Oh, you'll love it.
- Peter Parker: I can't go to Germany!
- Tony Stark: Why?
- Peter Parker: I got... homework.
- Tony Stark: Alright, I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.
- Falcon: [after being trapped by Spider-Man] I don't know if you've been in a fight before, but there's usually not this much talking.
- Spider-Man: All right, sorry. My bad.
- Tony Stark: All right, I've run out of patience. "Underoos!"
- [webbing comes down, grabs Cap's shield and cuffs his hands. Spider-Man lands on a nearby truck holding Cap's shield]
- Tony Stark: Nice job, kid!
- Spider-Man: Thanks! Well, I could have stuck the landing a little better. It's just, new suit... wait, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's... it's perfect, thank you.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation.
- Spider-Man: Okay.
- [salutes]
- Spider-Man: Cap... Captain? Big fan. Spider-Man.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just...
- Spider-Man: [waves] Hey, everyone.
- Tony Stark: Good job.
- Tony Stark: So, you're the Spiderling. Crime-fighting Spider. You're Spider-Boy?
- Peter Parker: S-Spider-Man.
- Tony Stark: Not in that onesie, you're not.
- Peter Parker: It's not a onesie.
- Spider-Man: [referring to Captain America's shield] That thing doesn't obey the laws of physics at all!
- Captain America: You got heart, kid. Where are you from?
- Spider-Man: [straining] Queens!
- Captain America: [chuckles in mild disbelief] Brooklyn!
- Spider-Man: [after taking down the Falcon and webbing him up] Are those carbon fiber wings?
- Falcon: Is this stuff coming out of you?
- Tony Stark: Why are you doing this, huh? What's your MO? I've got to know, what gets you out of that twin bed every morning?
- Peter Parker: Because... because, I've been me my whole life, and I've had these powers for six months. I read books, I build computers, and I would love to play football, but I couldn't then so I shouldn't be able to now...
- Tony Stark: Right, because you're different
- Peter Parker: Yeah, but I can't tell anybody that, so I'm not.
- [thinking]
- Peter Parker: When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you.
- [last lines]
- May Parker: [off-screen] Who was it? Who hit you?
- Peter Parker: [fidgeting with new webshooter from Tony Stark] Some guy... so itchy man, God.
- May Parker: [off-screen] What's "some guy's" name?
- Peter Parker: Uhh, Steve!
- [webshooter emits a light; Peter is amazed]
- May Parker: [off-screen] Steve? From 12-C? With the overbite?
- Peter Parker: No, no, no, you don't know him, he's from Brooklyn.
- [Peter hides webshooter light under his arm as May enters]
- Peter Parker: [feigning pain] Ouch.
- May Parker: Well, I hope you got a few good licks in.
- [hands Peter an ice pack wrapped in a towel]
- Peter Parker: Yeah, I got quite a few in actually.
- May Parker: Okay.
- Peter Parker: His friend was huge, like HUGE!
- [presses ice pack to black eye while hiding webshooter]
- Peter Parker: That's way better, thank you.
- May Parker: Okay, tough guy.
- [leaves to exit]
- Peter Parker: Love you, May. Hey, can you shut the door?
- [May shuts Peter's door]
- Peter Parker: [Peter unveils webshooter light and shines it onto his ceiling, projecting the Spider Symbol. Peter smiles]
- Title Card reads: Spider-Man will return
- Spider-Man: [after taking down Giant-Man] Whoa, no, I'm not done, I've gotta get him back!
- Iron Man: You're going home, or I'm calling Aunt May! You're DONE!
- [exits]
- Spider-Man: Wait, Mr. Stark! I'm not done, I'm not...
- [tries to get up; collapses]
- Spider-Man: [sighs] Okay, I'm done.
- Captain America: All right, Sam. What's the play?
- Falcon: We need a diversion. Something big.
- Ant-Man: I got something kinda big. But I can't hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half, don't come back for me.
- Bucky Barnes: He's gonna tear himself in half?
- Captain America: You sure about this, Scott?
- Ant-Man: I do it all the time. I mean, once. In a lab. Then I passed out. I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss. I'm the boss!
- Spider-Man: [Ant-Man becomes giant] Holy shit!
- War Machine: [Ant-Man laughs and grabs War Machine] Okay, tiny dude is big now. He's big now.
- Captain America: I guess that's the signal.
- Falcon: Way to go, Tic Tac!
- Iron Man: Give me back my Rhodey.
- Tony Stark: [referring to Spiderman's secret identity] Who else knows, anybody?
- Spider-Man: Nobody.
- Tony Stark: Not even your unusualy attractive aunt.
- Spider-Man: Hey, guys, something...
- War Machine: [Ant-Man returns to full size, knocking Spider-Man down] Whoa. What-what the hell was that?
- Ant-Man: [returning Cap's shield] I believe this is yours, Captain America.
- Iron Man: All right, there's two on the parking deck. One of them's Maximoff. I'm gonna grab her. Rhodey, you wanna take Cap?
- War Machine: Got two in the terminal, Wilson and Barnes.
- Black Panther: Barnes is mine.
- Spider-Man: Hey, Mr. Stark, what should I do?
- Iron Man: What we discussed. Keep your distance, web 'em up.
- Spider-Man: Okay, copy that.