- Mrs. Crabtree: [dressed as Starbuck] Let's get this frakkin' party started.
- Travis Crabtree: [dressed as Officer Rizzoli] This is BS! I cannot believe you did this to me!
- Mrs. Crabtree: Oh, honey, I think the low-cut top really accentuates the hair in your cleavage.
- Travis Crabtree: It was your idea to dress up as Rizzoli & Isles for the party. Now I'm stuck looking like Angie Harmon all night.
- Mrs. Crabtree: Wasn't my idea, I've never even seen the show! All I said was, "Don't you hate how Halloween sitcom episodes always use the same couples miscommunication costumes joke?"
- Travis Crabtree: Yes! Yes, I do hate that! I watched twelve episodes of Rizzoli & Isles to get into character for this, and for what? Nothing!
- Mrs. Crabtree: So how was the show?
- Travis Crabtree: It was terrible!
- 80's Dan: [observing Travis' costume] Say, if I were a bit younger, I'd still think you looked repulsive.
- Mrs. Crabtree: [dressed as Starbuck] Don't you wanna know who I am, Dan?
- 80's Dan: [dressed as the Cinema Snob] Oh, I know who you are! I never miss a Molly Ringwald Spacehunter 3D costume!
- Mrs. Crabtree: [annoyed] I'm Starbuck, god damn it!
- 80's Dan: [disappointed] That's the worst Dirk Benedict costume I've ever seen.
- Mrs. Crabtree: From the new one!
- 80's Dan: [laughs] It's Starbuck, honey, not Stardoe.
- Mrs. Crabtree: Well, we start out with the best one first. Halloween III: Season of the Witch.
- 80's Dan: [angry] Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
- Mrs. Crabtree: [surprised] Where'd that anger come from?
- 80's Dan: I hate Halloween III...
- Dolly: [confused] How could you hate Halloween III?
- 80's Dan: I'll tell you why. Because it does not feature Michael Myers.
- Travis Crabtree: Oh. Oh, I see what's going on here. See, in the 80's, it was cool *not* to like Halloween III, just because it was an in-name-only sequel. You see, Dan, nowadays, people have recognized it as one of the more underrated horror films of the 80's. We trod it out each and every season.
- 80's Dan: [unconvinced] And let me guess, you also claim that Boogeyman II was robbed of an Oscar?
- Dolly: No. We still hate that one.
- Mrs. Crabtree: Give it another chance, Dan. You might see it as the lost gem that it truly is.
- 80's Dan: Never! Stupid movie. Tricking people into thinking they were gonna see Michael Myers, and instead giving us a rejected Outer Limits episode about masks!
- Travis Crabtree: Yeah, I see what you mean, Dan. If only the movie's trailers had correctly identified that it's a separate story from the Myers universe... oh, wait, it did!
- 80's Dan: No one watched trailers in the 80's. We were too busy getting handy-J's from the girl peddling Jolt Cola in the lobby.
- Travis Crabtree: If by "we," you mean you. I don't think everybody in the 80's had the same experiences you did.
- 80's Dan: Look at the glassy stare in your parents' eyes next time you see them. Trust me. We all snorted from the same mirrors.