If the love to which Nina Davenport refers in First Comes Love is the narcissistic love of oneself, then she has picked the perfect title for her documentary, which follows her over the two years following her decision to be a single mom Don't get me wrong. Nina packs a mean camera. Since she does her filming herself, I have to give her kudos for her control of the camera as she films family conversations, the public humiliation of her father, and her own manipulation of her friends and family into doing the work while she sits back and experiences the day. Not everyone can pull it off. She does. The problem is that she pulls it off at the expense of so many around her.
There is a need for these documentaries. Many women who are not in love relationships are desperate to have children, and time is not on their side, so the odds are never in their favor. Their experiences charting that difficult course are worth noticing. But I have to agree with Nina's dad. It's not fair for her to bring a child into the world. She is not self-sufficient, so how can she possibly take on the added burden (and joy) of a child. He was right. Six months after her fabulous son was born, she was at her father's house asking why, oh why, wouldn't he support her? Her, a Harvard grad who just wants to be a filmmaker and take years, years, and more years to make films that will not pay her bills. It's that sense of entitlement that comes from having grown up entitled.
Her journey is one worth recording. Her version of her journey is so reminiscent a woman looking into a pond and admiring her own image that it's hard to stomach. She should try watching her own documentary as if she were any of the other people in it – from their perspective and she might see, just for a moment or two, why those around her don't find her all that easy to be around. That said, I wish her and her son all the best. And, a piece of advise from the mother of a twenty-seven year old. Give him a bedtime. We all need one.