- Stacey: The thing that sucks is that they're actually not bad people. It's a pity we have to kill them.
- Olaf Johnson: Smite, Stacey. Smite's what we do our enemies.
- Olaf Johnson: What if God was only invented to stop people believing in other gods who actually do exist? Have you thought about that?
- Minister: Yes. And we call that blasphemy.
- Dawn: How did your meeting go with out briefcase benefactor?
- Anders Johnson: Well, that would be on a need-to-know basis.
- Dawn: Anders, there's two of us.
- Anders Johnson: And you're the one that doesn't need to know.
- Dawn: As per usual.
- Mike Johnson: This may seem like a strange question, but has anything out of the ordinary happened to you today?
- Axl Johnson: Mike, you could throw a dart at any day of my life and the answer to that question would be yes.
- Mike Johnson: Your mother is...
- Michele Brock: An over-bearing, passive-aggressive, social-climbing, interfering, narcissistic, control-freak, sexual-predator cougar with deep-seated issues pertaining to her status as a minor goddess?
- Mike Johnson: I was gonna say interesting.