- Axl Heck: You can't just throw domesticated bunnies back into the wild, Brick. They don't know what to do. They don't know how to climb a tree to get an apple, and they can't outrun a pack of angry cows. Come on! Use your head.
- Brick Heck: The only person who wanted the bunnies was a man who worked at The Frugal Hoosier. On a related note, I do not think Mom should buy chicken there anymore.
- Tag Spence: You ever read that book "Tuesdays with Morrie"?
- Mike Heck: No, I don't think I have.
- Tag Spence: Every Tuesday this Morrie fella meets with a former student of his and he tells him his life stories and his wisdom and so on before he dies.
- Mike Heck: Oh God.
- Tag Spence: So, clear your schedule, Mike, 'cause unlike Morrie, I ain't dyin'. I've got loads of time.
- Frankie Heck: Look, if you're so miserable, just tell him you don't want to do it.
- Mike Heck: I can't do that. You can do that to your own family, not the one you married into. You got off easy. My dad's a hoarder who never wants to leave the house or talk to anybody.
- Frankie Heck: And I am thankful for that every single day.
- Mike Heck: There's one story in your book that really stayed with me.
- Tag Spence: You mean the one about the bathroom stall in Wichita?
- Mike Heck: No. No, the one where you had to fire your friend, but you said the best way to do it was just look him in the eye and tell him the truth.
- Tag Spence: To be fair, the same thing applies to the stall in Wichita.
- Axl Heck: Have you been living under a rock? Once these guys go viral, we're gonna be fighting off the offers. Think about it. If you had a chance to own the sneezing panda, wouldn't you? The skateboarding dog? The monkey that smells his own poo and faints? This is not just sound business. This is genius. And, now that I think about it, a possible career path.