2 Broke Girls (TV Series)

And the Worst Selfie Ever (2013)

Kat Dennings: Max Black

Photos 

Quotes 

• Caroline Channing : My new sheets from the Under A Dollar store feel so luxurious. Like maybe they could cost over a dollar. Maybe even two or three.

  Max Black : Yup. It was a good day over at the Under A Dollar. Steak, bed stuff and my new steak-eating chair.

  Caroline Channing : Doesn't it worry you that you got meat and furniture for the price of an Angry Birds update?

  Max Black : Yeah, it worries me that it'll never happen again. Sheets and steak? Never dare to dream it.

  Caroline Channing : These sheets smell amazing too. Thanks to that one little fabric softener ball, also under a dollar.

  Max Black : I dated a guy with one ball once. He was all self-conscious, but I told him, "No big deal, it's just as ugly as two."

  Caroline Channing : I am gonna get such a good night...

  [Caroline pulls back the bed sheet, ripping it] 

  Caroline Channing : Oh, sheet!

  [Caroline runs to the box and reads it] 

  Caroline Channing : "Thread count: yes. Washing instructions: Do not wash." Are you sure you want to sit in that?

  Max Black : Woman, don't talk to me while I'm eating my steak.

  [Max goes to sit down in the chair but her butt rips through the chair and she falls to the floor, Max then reads the tag on the chair] 

  Max Black : "Instructions: Do not sit."

• Caroline Channing : [Max and Caroline are looking for Andy; Caroline is upset, having learned that Andy has had multiple casual partners recently]  Well, Andy's not here yet. He's probably busy getting busy with his rag-tag team of gutter skanks!

  Max Black : Gutter Skanks? Didn't I see them open for Cannibal Corpse?

• Caroline Channing : I can't wait till tomorrow for my test results. I'm gonna call the clinic.

  Max Black : You left, like, ten messages. You're acting like the clinic's crazy ex-girlfriend.

  Caroline Channing : Well, I'm leaving another message. Hand me my phone.

  [Max takes a napkin and picks up Caroline's phone with it] 

  Max Black : What? I have to stay healthy in case you have it. Someone's got to pick up your welfare checks.

  Caroline Channing : Well, this is my life now. Working at a diner with herpes. The very best I can ever hope to be is a mentor for a younger girl with herpes.