Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, Dr. Linksano

Quotes 

• Linkara : Bill Jemas... you make science cry.

• [Snorts the duckbill says that duckbills don't quack] 

  Linkara : I only have one question: how does it know it's called a duckbill if ducks don't exist yet?

• Linkara : [Jack takes everyone back 150 billion years - to Jurassic Park]  Twice on this page and once on the recap page, it's not referred to as the Jurassic *period*, but Jurassic *Park*. If it's a joke, it's not funny; if it's serious, then Bill Jemas is an even bigger idiot than I thought, and so is his editor.

• Linkara : Mickey still thinks everything is random, while Lucy argues the fish feet theory of everything waiting to be programmed.

  Lucy : That's like Hamlet.

  Linkara : I think it's more like Macbeth: "A tale told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

• Linkara : BILL JEMAS, YOU ARE A GODDAMN IDIOT, PLAIN AND SIMPLE!

• [in the comic, Jack tells Snorts that hadrosaurids don't kill other hadrosaurids, prompting Snorts to wonder if humans kill other humans] 

  Linkara : Oh, we're dong this now, huh? We're doing the "human beings are so awful because we kill our own people" thing, huh? We're going into 1950s B-movie "aliens passing judgment on humanity" thing? Bill Jemas wants to indict our happy little species? Okay, asshole, I'll play. Sure, humans kill each other. We kill for passion, madness, rage, love, war, and Lord knows other things. And yet, we've got six billion people running around the planet, almost as if people who kill other people ARE THE EXCEPTION rather than the rule! And don't tell me animals never kill their own. Animals are frickin' DICKS to each other, whether it's the cuckoo bird that kills off another cuckoo bird's children so that the new one will try to raise them, ant colonies that go to war with one another and enslave other ants into them, or even mountain gorillas who will kill another one if it wanders into their territory.

  [a clip of "Scrubs" is shown, depicting Dr. Cox] 

  Dr. Cox : Should I talk slower, or go get a nurse who speaks fluent moron?

  Linkara : In other words, take your self-righteous, moral-aggrandizing, holier-than-thou attitude, and CHOKE ON IT, along with this comic!

• Linkara : Are we sure we're not still in the parody comic?

• Linkara : For a comic that's supposed to be "smart" and being all "intelligent" and "philosophical" and crap, perhaps it's not best to be schooled by a fifth grader's science project.

• Linkara : How is it that "Power Rangers" features gravity and breathable air on the moon, and yet I trust the science of that show more than this comic?

• Linkara : By the way, you may have also noticed that the art style has reverted back to the way it was in the first two issues, and we actually have dialogue balloons again. Some might say that's a good thing, since we can actually read the damn thing now. I say that's a terrible thing, because we can actually read the damn thing now!

• [Jack advises that humans only use ten percent of their brains, which, as Linkara points out, is a myth] 

  Jack : Listen, it would be a disaster if humans used all of their brains - Einstein got 20% more and he accidentally drew the roadmap that led to nuclear weaponry.

  Linkara : Aside from the previously disproven 10% bullcrap, Einstein wasn't the only one working on nuclear weapons. Someone would have figured it out. And you're kind of undermining your own argument because Einstein was a good guy, implying that if everybody had access to that kind of mental capacity, none of us would be assholes!

  Mickey : Okay, what is God waiting for?

  Jack : For scientists to realize that they should do things on purpose.

  [Dr. Linksano is seen reading this comic] 

  Dr. Linksano : "ON PURPOSE"? Hey! How about I test and see how FLAMMABLE the comic is "on purpose"? Bah!