Texas REMAKE Massacres Part I: TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D (2013)
- Podcast Episode
- 2022
We're talking TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D (2013) on the latest episode of the Nightmare on Film Street horror movie podcast. Join your hosts Kim and Jon as they cackle their way through one of the zan... Read allWe're talking TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D (2013) on the latest episode of the Nightmare on Film Street horror movie podcast. Join your hosts Kim and Jon as they cackle their way through one of the zaniest installments of the TCM sagaWe're talking TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D (2013) on the latest episode of the Nightmare on Film Street horror movie podcast. Join your hosts Kim and Jon as they cackle their way through one of the zaniest installments of the TCM saga
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Self - Host: I feel like it's been the exact right amount of time since we've seen this movie. I had a blast watching it. And sure, it makes no sense. Who gives a f*ck? It's a movie about a guy who wears other people's faces who cuts people up with a chainsaw. That's all I need. And family matters, clearly. And family. Family's so important. You do anything for your family. There's a moment. What accent are you doing? What, Vin Diesel. There's a moment in this movie where Alexander Dadaria, they're just like. Alexandra. Didn't I say it to him? I don't know. You're saying it like, wrong. Where Heather Sawyer, bam, we're gonna fix that right now, learns that she has a family and. And they're like, are you gonna take care of this? Like, yeah, you do anything for your family. It's like, bitch, you didn't know you had one. But immediately she's like, no, I gotta do this. It's obligation. Like, I'm tied to this family. It's hysterical. So explain to me if you understand what the fuck is up with grandma. How did she not die in the fire? Who the fuck is she? Ah, see. Is she a Carson? Okay, so there we go. That's what's important here. I'm fucking confused. At the beginning of the movie, we're at the Sawyer House from the old 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Taking us back. To forget the fact that it's 1974 because it only happened 20 years ago. Everybody is the correct age in the future. Right, and there's a tombstone for her mother that says, you know, born, no, it says died 19 and then there's just a branch in the way. So like, they completely hide the year because if numbers are to be believed, it's 1991. Like it can't be any later than that, right? Well, she does use a pay phone. Yeah, but they also have cell phones. Do they? Yeah. Did they? Do they? Don't they? She does use a pay phone at one point. God, I mean, I think it's modern day. Carry on. There's a huge old shootout at the Sawyer House. Like one cop shows up to be like, God damn it, you fucking crazy bastards. You did it again. I need to take one of you to jail and then some good old boys show up to just fucking torch the place. They basically just like shove the cop out of the way and start throwing Molotov cocktails through the window. They kill everybody except for this, they kill everybody, but this is one woman escapes with her baby in her arms and a guy has just enough time to rescue the baby before kicking her in the face. Stealing the baby. He's like, I need one of these. Yeah, and he literally brings it back to his wife like, hey, look what I pilfered for you. Check it out. Like it's like Homer getting a lady Remington while looting with a mob. That baby grows up, learns that she had a grandmother who has named her. Okay, who is this fucking? That's what I'm fucking getting at. I need some backstory here, man. So yeah, she learns that she is a grandma who just died, who left her everything because she's her last surviving heir, family member. That's Grandma Carson, who is her grandmother to a woman like, I don't know, Martha Sawyer, who married out of the Carson's. She married into the Sawyer's. Okay. Yeah, so Grandma Carson, we find out later, took care of Jed Sawyer. Why did she do that if she wasn't a Sawyer? No fucking idea. So I think you're incorrect. I think she's a Sawyer. She's Sawyer Carson. Oh, you think she married out? She married into a rich, the point is at some point, a Sawyer, either a Carson, either married down or a Sawyer married up, right? And that's how we've got blended, but like Heather Sawyer, Alexander Dadaria's character is the last surviving member. I feel like there should be some explanation as to why whoever this family member wasn't present during the fire at the beginning of the movie. Because they weren't in the house. Thanks, John. Yeah, that's just where they are. That's how I do. But then so like they live in this town where everybody murdered their family. Yeah, they were the one town. They were the one family in town that everybody hated. Everybody thought was weird. For good reason, they were cannibals. Yeah, but I'm just saying that Grandma lived there afterwards and was like, yeah, all of our family got murdered up. Like it was in the newspaper and shit. The mayor was the head of the gang. Yeah, and she called success the best revenge. She remained rich, she had a great house and a huge property, and she hid away the one surviving member of that Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I just don't buy any of it, but it's fine because it doesn't matter. Bam, that's what counts. It doesn't matter. It is weird to go from this dilapidated sort of house that you would expect to house cannibals to like now we're just like, check out this mansion. It's so fucking great. Like it is the exact opposite of what the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was. Leatherface looks so happy there though at the end of the movie. He's got a cushy spot. When he's digging his grave and stuff and putting his mom back in it. Yeah, it's weird that he digs her up. That's just, you know. That's just his move. It was a little spooky spook. Yeah, I didn't get to say goodbye and you know, family's everything. What I love most though about this nonsense story is that it completely paints any wrong doing the Sawyers did in the first film. Like the Sawyers are the fucking antagonists. Yeah, yeah, totally. They are cold blooded murderers. Yeah, because the real villain here is the angry mob. The good old boys who showed up to just, you know, deliver some frontier justice. To kill some murderers. Yeah, and how fucking dare they? How very fucking dare they? Oh man, and of course they've, you know, they've ingrained themselves into the local police department. Did you recognize that cop? The leader of the posse from 19, whatever. 19 question mark. Yeah, he grows up. He becomes the mayor. He's running the town. The cop that they sort of like pushed around at the beginning is now the sheriff. Did you recognize his deputy? Who's the mayor's son? He looked familiar. He, I mean, he's in a few movies. Is he from like Fantastic Four? He had a Fantastic Four hair flip. He's in the Suicide Squad, but he is Scott Eastwood. That is Clint Eastwood's youngest son. Whoa, I see it. Yeah, right? Like when you see him in like a more recent photo where he's gotten a little age. He's so squinty. Born in 19 because he wasiraa I. 1986 oh wow he's a baby yeah Eastwood was still making babies back in 1986 and making babies and make a movie yeah, I do two things I make number one films and I make beautiful baby boys I Love your Clint Eastwood accent Well, I didn't I even try to do what I could have like I only do two things Point guns and people's faces and make baby boys. Can you imagine that's the dude dirty Harry? Oh boy? Um damn this has been an accent filled up. It's been not good And I love I just I just like pulled one out of the drawer at random and just slapped it on no matter That's the only one I've actually tried to do it's not good. No no not at all Yeah, so the thing that the thing about this movie that makes no sense to me the one the one thing I can't get my head over is that they pick up a one thing. Yeah, no This is the I'm on board with absolutely everything else. It's sure we're over use of the camera sound That's a given you can't you can't get past there's if there's one thing that Texas chainsaw masquerades always do wrong It's oh mages to the first They use it when they're like the like they use it properly when they're going through like a crime scene Taking photos it's nuts. It's nuts. That's not even an exaggeration. It's on a creaky gate But no the thing that I can't get behind is that they pick up this hitchhiker in the middle of no Oh, this is so fucking this fucking con man hitchhiker and then they they bring him along to the mansion It's raining you hit me with your car. I want some beef jerky. Also. I rob you Yeah, and but that's so that's what's so fucking stupid about it They bring him all the way to the house like hey check out this incredible mansion. I just We're going into town you go ahead and stay here He's like I'ma drop the bags off inside and then I'm a split you guys have been real nice like okay Cool here are the keys to the house you fucking go to town like of course. He was going to rob you blind I just don't understand that and everyone's surprised when they get back like wow He was real smooth like no you were real dumb He wasn't even trying no you you basically drove you handed him the keys You drove him to the mark and left him there That's another actor that I am to IMDB tells me is super familiar to us Oh, yeah, he was in finalist nation too. Oh, wow. He played Frankie. He died in the car at the beginning, so One of the many victims of the long truck, but while we were talking about the tchoo I do want to take a second to talk about my favorite thing about this movie the Ridiculous soundscape the Foley work. Oh just in general you got it. We oh god, so we own this on blu-ray It's in a box somewhere. It's the only Texas chainsaw we own We'll actually up until like a week ago. I got the original on Blue rice so we could watch it on our projector screen isn't that fucking wild puff puff puff my bubble pipe It blows my mind that we don't own Texas chainsaw well that we hadn't owned the original TCM until now But that I also for some reason have gone my entire life without buying a physical copy of Texas chainsaw massacre 2 It's the greatest movie ever made. Yeah, we watch it on to be yeah, we watch it on to be it's free You can watch it tonight, but the the sound is not great. It's fucking Wonderful is what it is. It's nuts. It's you told me this was like a illegal cam recorded video from a movie theater in Russia I believe you. Oh turn the volume up my mic It's a key advice you cuddle in to watch this movie when Alexandra dadario goes out to the cemetery for the first time Turn that bad boy up. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Kim's footstep corner Oh fucking crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch, even when she's When she fucking falls down the front steps It's like somebody pushed a fucking tool shed over her. You can hear like wheels. It's insane. It's insane. But I'm blaming it on Tubi. I am not blaming this on the actual movie. No, I fucking enjoyed the experience. If our copy does not sound like this, we're going to watch it exclusively on Tubi from here on out. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. The problem, it's funny. Choo-koo! It makes all the chainsaw sounds sound like those little turkey cutters that everybody in the 80s had. Chris is like... It's not great, but it's pretty funny. Oh, what an experience. There's something here we should talk about and I think this is the perfect film to talk about it because I think of the Texas Chainsaw remakes This is the most insane and zany and wild and out there Okay, but that Texas Chainsaw has been one of the most resilient horror franchises that I don't think has ever landed smoothly in like the horror Community it's never latched on like it never became Friday the 13th and never became a nightmare on Elm Street It never became Halloween and it's crazy because they keep fucking trying they keep making every five years like Yeah, it's like they just drop Bambi on like a big ol' leg of ice. They're like here you go Can't fucking find its footing yeah, and they fucking try and I think it comes down to the fact that one It's it's a hugely influential first film But the rights have to be super concise and simple like they probably are able to pass between hands very easily There's probably not a lot of people involved in the rights And I I think that comes down to like Toby Hooper being smart when he first made it Yeah, I don't I don't can't think of any other reason why they would just keep making these fucking movies because I don't think they're generally that Successful they're definitely not critically successful. I don't think there's been a single one that people have been like this is good, right? It's it's nuts. It's nuts Like people you can't make them happy. That's what I'm learning. You know like even though the one that came out this year the Texas Chainsaw 2022 had some great shit at it, but otherwise it was a bit Yeah, it was totally hey there's a fucking kill in that movie that is making my top my year-end list for sure Like I've already drafted the list that's on there and nine other movies I give zero shit about yeah, I don't I don't know what it is like and it's for no lack of trying like they've been getting some good fucking directors You know what it is as well tell you no one else has been able to use a chainsaw as a murder weapon You can't put a fucking chainsaw you can't give another masked killer a chainsaw and not have everybody go Oh, you're doing Texas Chainsaw massacre. Okay. Oh, you think it's just the want to do chainsaw killer Sure, why not? Oh, he leather faces also just like I think it's just a great shadow I just think it's the want to exploit IP And Texas is a great state to make a fucking horror. No it totally is I just I don't know I don't know why it's not it's not kicking off and I don't know people try you know Hey, we're gonna get one soon. Here's the thing We could do all of the remix all of the reboots the rehashings the Restarts of the Texas chainsaw massacre franchise and we will be putting episodes out into the winter There have been so many and honest everything cool and all kinds of shit Yeah, we're talking about two of them here on the podcast I think our two favorites of the of the remakes In the Texas chainsaw world not not a hundred percent the two best. I'll give you that but two favorites Yeah, but they all have something great about them. They all have something real cool and usually it's leather face Usually it's always the crazy weird guy who's wearing another person's face that hacks people up man What a great villain. I think he's so misunderstood too because there's always so many different Interpretations of him because I think the best thing about leather face especially in the original Texas chainsaw massacre is that he just appears and is just like a barrage of human being he's huge he's Formless almost you can't get a read because the face has no personality because it's not his fucking face Mm-hmm, and there's so much unknown that just makes it utterly terrifying. Also. You just don't have time There's no time to process. Yeah, like somebody's running at me with a chainsaw. I run also but you know, you don't understand you can't really get a read at least in that first movie you can't get a read on his mo because he's also scared and and Fragile but but menacing like he is such a great character. What do you think about leather face in Texas chainsaw 3d? It's never a good sign when you start this high No, no, no, I so I like I like leather face in this one But only in the second half in the first half. I'm not huge on his first mask Okay, I don't know. Maybe it's because he's been locked away so long It's very fucking old. I don't know when he shows it to his face. It looks a lot fresher Okay, and I also like when he shows it to his face. That's a cool move I also just like that his room is God-hell of the things that he's kind of picked up through the other Sequels that even though this film is like ignoring them They kept the fact that he does like dresses and he does like makeup and there's something ritualistic about wearing the face Like they don't ever touch on any psych psychology here. Like this is a slasher. I know this is a slasher through and through But the fact that they like just that moment where he's sewing it to his own face. That's good But there's pain there is the other we still don't know anything about him We just know that he's an eight-year-old in a six foot eight body Yeah, that's exactly how they describe and they say that like mentally He hasn't aged past eight and that he doesn't really have Language, you know, like he doesn't he like he violence is like a big thing for him Like he goes to it immediately. He's just he's he's a hard to love boy, but he dedicated to his family like literally is gonna is about to hack some Alexander D'Dario up until he sees that she's family and then he is furious oh he goes into full-out like dog mode right he's just like how dare you do this to my cousin I'm gonna kill you he is the best big brother you could ask for fuck I mean yeah it's it's you do have to clean up murders for him that is a problem that's not a good big brother move and I'm sure there's like a lot of smells you have to deal with it like 4 a.m. like yeah just wafting up from the base nice I'm sure grandma Verna did a real good job of smell proof in that area they soundproof sure anybody can soundproof smell proof that's where money comes in and the thing that's unclear in this because they really play down the fact that soy the Soyors are villains and I guess because in the first one like the people they're killing have come on their property so you're like are they cold-blooded killers are they only just like protecting their space is leather face still actively murdering or is it only when people come in his space it's a good question or threaten his family he does seem to he does wear faces you say that like like it's like a you know you're you're standing your ground I think it's the term right that you you're defending your property you say that like you're allowed to hit them in the face put them on a hook cut them in half grill them up like that's all I'm just defending my property actually like the gray areas of American law are pretty fabulous in this movie particularly the moment when one of the cops shoots one of the teenagers in the face oh my god yeah dudes just walking around sort of video like live video yeah he's doing FaceTime with the sheriff and the mayor and he's just walking through the walk it through the mansion like oh my god it's like oh I haven't seen anything this awful oh man maybe there's maybe there's something in this freezer I should check out and then yeah I Heather is like best friend who just cheated on her this is like help me and blam he just blows her away it's fucking hilarious great and then the yeah and then they're like nothing happened you're like oh god my favorite for laughing my one of my favorite parts about all of that is that the mayor's like that's it with a Sawyer girl dies tonight we're ending this we're finishing the job we started 20 years ago and the sheriff is like not on my watch and it's like buddy you were literally at the crime scene 20 years ago it's it's been on your watch the whole time it's all on your watch also he just refuses to leave the police station like the mayor's the command station this is I set up my spot here the mayor's practically lighting up a fucking pitchfork and and a torch and is going to like kill this girl and the chief of police is like you shouldn't do yeah I'm gonna send one of my deputies that who also happens to be his fucking son it's wild man it's great I do like that there's a carnival in this right I would that's I was just gonna segway to ever brief don't you love it Halloween carnival at that fucking leather face just like cuts through a chain link fence busts into this this this Halloween carnival and is immediately met with a little kid dressed as as jigsaw from from the saw movies who's also gonna change they have like a dual chainsaw and the kid runs away screaming fucking great the best yeah Alexander Dadario like hangs on the edge of a Ferris wheel to try and escape to leather face and then he fucking he throws a chainsaw a cop okay so that's the best 3d moment it's the only moment that's like super 3d are you talking about it's the only moment there is a there is Alexander Dadario to hide from leather face goes into the grave okay so that her grandma yeah so that he starts chains on through the coffin and it's coming right at the screen like oh my god I was touch it it's the best I do love the chainsaw coffin moment it's a whole point bump the chainsaw coffin scenario I remember I watched the trailer like I don't know a half a dozen times before we saw this movie in the theater because it looked so fucking cool but back to the carnival isn't it so fucking weird that leather face is so hell bent on getting her even though she's like at a fucking kid buffet oh Kim come on we're talking about the cops explain that so perfectly or no it's not the cop it's like the executor of the will it's like hey you know last time you know his family got his entire family was murdered it was because he let a girl get away so he he's gonna come after you no matter what he can't let a girl get away that's logic it's not good logic but they explain it I guess I believe that yeah I guess I buy it it all adds up man that that coffin thing maybe they did that purely to justify like or just to put grandma grandma in the chair for a bit because they're like no we need we need the coffee yeah that's true that's a good point you're right same thing was that when they were when they were tying Alexandra Dari up at the end and like her shirt just pops open and you're like why did they rip her shirt open like oh it's because leather face has to be able to see the Sawyer birthmark or the Sawyer scar or whatever yeah it all works it's all it's all airtight screenwriting Kim I still don't understand who grandma is she's dead she's dead and rich and she left it all to Alex Adder to Daria that's all it matters so you never answered what do you think of leather face in this one he's pretty good that was a little high-pitched John no he's pretty good oh pretty good yeah I like him he's not like my favorite or anything he doesn't really do a whole lot I will say like Dan Jaeger the guy acting for him is he like he does this he does a good job and he does the same thing that you know that the bag head Jason does in part two in Friday the 13th part two where he's basically acting with one eyeball because like the face is there the mask looks the way it looks but the way that he's like you there's a lot of information that gets delivered just in how he stares at you I don't like he looks so fucking good when he's just cranking that chainsaw up in the slaughter house I think that's all great I don't necessarily buy when they like punch him a few times and he's like like when they when they beat leather face down it doesn't really work for me but he looks so fucking good in this movie especially especially in that cemetery sequence because he's just like that chainsaws just going fucking crazy he's got no oil in it so there's smoke going everywhere it's just like this this gasoline fog creeping in through the tombstones it looks amazing you really like chainsaws I do you have like a chainsaw crutch you know the best part about chainsaws is that the chain bar oil you have to fill up to like you know lubricate the chain this is specific is red so like when you're using the chainsaw it's just like spit and red juice everywhere it's kind of rad unless you're using an electric yeah no one does that no that's what you use the electric chainsaw to cut dinner Something else we have to talk about, which is on par with the Foley work I was talking about earlier, is the special effects in the finale. Okay, but only in the finale, right? The rest of it's great. No, it's great. When the finale is great. What are you talking about? I like it too. Okay, good. I thought we were going down this route where we were going to talk shit about it, but like, come on, all of, especially when Leatherface is cutting people in half in the basement, that looks amazing. It's amazing. It's fantastic, but when the mayor gets put in the meat grinder thing, it's pretty bad. They went real hard in the front half of the movie. What's a word other than good, but like, ugh. It is a choice. It's budget restrictive, I guess, man. Like, what do you want? No, but I fucking loved it. Like, the horror fan in me is just like, fuck yeah, this finale. Because it's early days of digital effects. Is it? I don't know, man. It feels like, you know, when you watch the Frightners now and you're like, oh, they went whole hog on this. The Frightners still stands up, but yeah, the end of, but I see what you're saying. We really trusted CGI in the early days. Like way more than we should have. Yeah. And I'm happy we did. It looks fun. It does look fun. It looks real fun. I love it because we're just like, oh yeah, this is realism guys. And we're like, is it? On the other hand though, I think it's, is this one of the only Texas Chainsaw movies that actually goes to a slaughterhouse, especially for a finale? It's pretty rad. And then also. A slaughterhouse is what you make it, John. Okay. Slaughterhouse is where the heart is. Exactly. You're trying to tell me. You're going to crush that and put it on the wall? Yes. Okay. The slaughterhouse and its family. Yes. And yeah. Home is where the slaughterhouse is. These motherfuckers. I love that. Starting a Nazi story. Yeah, you should. The slaughterhouse has just been slowly taking care of all the assholes that killed his family because even the cop that he kills was apparently part of that posse. I know and he's got a vendetta and he's crossing out faces. Yeah. I thought you were eight. Well, you know, he's got, he's got, he's got a photo in the basement. He's taken years for him to plan this out and he's finally taken some boxes. All he needed was somebody to let him out of the basement. That's it. He's got a nice wine cellar. I will say. Do you think he pairs wines with his, with his meals? What goes with boyfriend? Probably in his back on war, I would think. Yes. Tastes adulterous. He seems like they kind of got me more interested in parents barbecue sauce than a red wine. Do you think he would even use barbecue sauce though? Isn't that for like bad cuts of meat? I guess human beings are bad cuts of meat. I would think they're not good. Yeah. Cause they like smoke and stuff. And they're all gamey. Because they all run away from it. Also the fear gets into the meat. You can taste it. You can taste the terror. You really got to, yeah, you really got to surprise them. He does a great job in this one. They try and recreate that surprise sledgehammer kill from the first movie where he just like bashes the goddamn thieves face in and you can see teeth fly across the screen. The teeth flying was a nice tip. Yeah, I like that a lot, but they do, they do turn the mayor into minced meat, which is pretty great. He cuts his fucking hands off, right? So good. Cuts his hands off so he can slowly slide down into the meat grinder. I thought it looked great. And then they just like, like a brother and sister, they just have a nice quiet walk back home. They clean up a little bit. She makes them dinner. He tucks himself into bed. What a happy movie. It is kind of a feel good Texas chainsaw massacre movie, which is very odd. But yeah, it is, it is definitely two different movies. And I don't know. I wanted more teens. I wanted them to at least have some kind of arc. They don't. Oh, thank God they didn't. I don't need it. I really don't. Not in a Texas chainsaw movie. Fine. But Kim, what's your rating of Texas chainsaw 3D? So yeah, I think it's fun. I don't know. It doesn't have to be good. Is that a weird review? It's fun and it's not good. Three out of four. Yeah. I kind of feel the opposite. I'm like, this movie is great. This movie is a lot of fun. Sure, it's not good. It's a blast. Three out of four. Yeah, like it's fucking fun. Yeah. And the things that are bad are great. Don't need anything more than that. I just need it to be fun. I need it to look cool. And then I also have a great villain. And even better than it makes no fucking sense because you're like, this makes no sense. I think it's fine. I think it makes as much sense as it needs to make. Yeah. So my biggest petfume though is like when things try to make sense and they don't make sense. And it's just like when they just cover up the death date with a branch, you're like, that is the kind of effort I require. That's what I'm looking for. Now we got a movie. But that's just what we thought of Texas Chainsaw 3D. Let us know what you thought over on Twitter at NOFS Podcast or in the Nightmare on Film Street Discord at NOFSPodcast.com slash Discord. Let us know what your favorite Texas remake massacres are. We want to hear all about them. What's your favorite? Is it Leatherface? Leatherface not bad. If you want even more slasher content, we are currently releasing bonus episodes for our Patreon fiends over at NOFSPodcast.com slash fiend club. We have been covering every single film in the Friday the 13th franchise one at a time and it's all extra content, full length episodes for you to enjoy in exchange for supporting Nightmare on Film Street. You can do that at NOFSPodcast.com slash fiend club to get those episodes. There's also a ton more there for you to check out. But until next time, I'm John. I'm Kim. Stay Creepy. It appears you made it out alive. But we'll get you next time. Help us to grow the horde. Leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you subscribe. Your terror can be found lurking on our website, NOFSPodcast.com. Until next time, stay creepy fiends.
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