Thu, Dec 26, 2013
New boy Gordon House comes out to replace Millsy. He is a proud Yorkshire lad and instantly gets into a class war with Nick - whom he calls Rupert whilst Nick christens him Tower Block. Nor is he keen to take part in the Nativity play, any more than Bird, who is playing Virgin Mary and feels she might be pregnant. When the Taliban attack Tower Block has every reason to be grateful to Nick and they accept that they are on the same side. As Bird discovers her pregnancy was a false scare and Rocket and Mac treat everybody to deep-fried goose for Christmas dinner normality returns - in the form of a food fight.
Mon, Mar 9, 2015
The team recovers as they realize that their truck has hit a landmine. Much time is spent teasing Nick over his relationship with Mary before they decide to leave the vehicle. They are immediately ambushed and Nick is concussed, a fact which makes him so reckless that it saves the day before help arrives. However, on returning to the base he gets a very big shock. Mary has been transferred and replaced by a male padre.
Thu, Mar 27, 2014
The team survives a terrorist attack and an unexploded bomb but Nick berates Simon, whose gun has jammed again. In fact he has lost the firing pin and wrongly suspects that Rocket and Mac stole it. When they find it they fear he will accuse them of its theft so they put it in his cup of tea - which of course he drinks. Nick meanwhile goes after the bomber, whom he locates after having to eat a sheep's eyeball with the village elders. He is weary and turns to Mary for comfort but she reminds him of their sex ban after Bird has told her that Nick only loves one person, himself. The team then gets into the lorry for another job but hits an obstacle on the way...
Thu, Feb 27, 2014
The day starts badly for Nick when a runaway car drives over and explodes a device and gets worse when Towerblock challenges him to a weapons test where, despite attempted bribery, he fails. Fortunately he has one last shot - literally. Meanwhile Bird and Simon fall out when Smith lends them a copy of 'The Art of War', which gets torn. They learn that neither of them has succeeded in learning the art, the only winner being Faruq, who sold the lieutenant-colonel a cheap copy of the book. Mac wins the camp's filthiest bastard award for catching crabs whilst having sex with twins but the trophy is withdrawn when it turns out he caught them from his father via a towel. He does however have a novel way to get the award back.
Tue, Apr 9, 2013
When bomb sniffer dog Monty is ailing army vet captain Parekh arrives to cure him and Bird is instantly smitten,causing the over-protective Nick and the lads to warn him off her to avoid upsetting her. When he obeys Bird is annoyed so the boys have to bully him into dating her again. Simon is anxious to learn the waltz for his wedding reception but with Mary organizing a Mexican evening Nick wants to be an expert at the tango in order to impress her. Nick accomplishes his aim and takes to the floor with the padre but she halts the dance as it reminds her too much of her former boyfriend.
Thu, Mar 27, 2014
Whilst Tower Block resents being subject to class distinction Bird gets fed up with Mary and Nick constantly going on about each other and suggests they have sex to get things out of their systems. Unknown to her they plan to simulate sex and for her to walk in on them but the plan goes awry. In the event Nick tells Bird that he and Mary indeed had afternoon delight and bribes her to keep quiet by promising not to mention Mary to her again. Tower Block's effort to get one over on the colonel fails whilst the unfriendly rivalry between Simon and Mac becomes dangerous when they start playing a gun-based computer game for real.
Thu, Mar 6, 2014
Nick is not happy to find the latest team member is Steve Nuttall, alias Nutsack, the man who caused Nick to split with his girlfriend after having sex with her. This makes for an uneasy working relationship, though they ultimately call a truce. Mac is teased and accused of being a closet gay which he strongly denies whilst Bird's monthly party night clashes with Mary's film show and when Mary's projector is stolen she is quick to make an accusation. However the lieutenant colonel is the actual culprit and he intervenes to provide a compromise. Bird's party night goes ahead though it appears that the real gay boy is Mac's fellow private Rocket.
Mon, Apr 13, 2015
As the team prepare to leave Afghanistan for good, Simon is devastated to find out that he will not be receiving a medal after all. This news sends him over the edge and during the team's last op to destroy a downed U.S. drone, he performs an act of valour which saves everyone's life - exclaiming that if he was killed, at least he'd get a medal! Simon then go's AWOL and as the rest of the team departs in a Chinook, he is hiding out in a cave in a delusional state.