- When Jane (Eliza Coupe) wants to plan the wedding of Penny's (Casey Wilson) dreams, Pete (guest star Nick Zano) admits that he'd rather elope.
- Penny (Casey Wilson) was having the best engagement party...once she showed up. But the finger sandwiches shaped into the letter P were cute. (ALEX: Why are there so many of these lower-case B sandwiches?) Penny finally arrived and saw some of her engagement gifts, like the blender from Max (Adam Pally). Which he must sell 15 of...and have everybody else sell 15 of apiece...to get some very bad people off of his back. Jane's (Eliza Coupe) gift was very much Jane: she was going to be Penny's wedding planner. (Think Monica from Friends (1994), only much more sinister.) Pete finally arrived...once he was told about the engagement party...and was overwhelmed. Particularly because he wanted to elope. Penny took it well. (BRAD: Penny took that hardwood floor to the head like a boss, huh?) Dave was even more upset because he wanted a wedding. He was a regular Bridezilla.
DAVE: Wouldn't I be a Groomzilla?
MAX: Groomzilla is not a word because it never needed to exist before.
But since no one was taking this lying down (and Penny had already booked Chicago...yes, the actual band...for her wedding), Jane suggested going to the wedding expo downtown. With all of the free stuff there, it was a "classic group gang hang."
JANE: And I'm going to change Pete's mind, or they don't call me "bitch" behind my back.
At the expo, Alex (Elisha Cuthbert) and Dave (Zachary Knighton) were paired up as a couple, over Alex's protests. Brad (Damon Wayans Jr.) and Max had to couple up in order to get the freebies, so Max provided him with a back story. And Jane took her VIP pass with Penny to prepare her. She also got Pete to show up by telling him it was a reggae fest. (JANE: In my defense, I did not know he was going to come in like he just shot the sheriff.) Even though Pete's brother went through hell planning his wedding, he acquiesced for Penny's sake. And they knew their audience, so Jane and Penny brought out so many of his favorites, such as a wedding cake made of hot wings, a reggae band, and sushi served on an attractive woman. Who, by the way, got eloped so Penny wasn't much for that. In the meantime, Alex talked about how cool a bouncy castle would be at a wedding, or to have their nuptials underwater. But she was really trying to goad Dave into going Bridezilla on her and he wouldn't take the bait. (DAVE: I'm Chillzilla.) That is, until Alex saw some beige napkins, which Dave thought should be folded in the shape of middle fingers, because that's what beige napkins say to guests.
As for the soon-to-be-married Brad and Max, who were lamenting what a computer said their kids would look like (MAX: It looks like the third Gumbel brother: Yitzhak Gumbel), they found a booth with all of Brad's favorite soaps and lotions. They dropped a few famous names to get their welcome bags filled to the brim. And it was working great until a guy scoped on Max, who wanted Brad to break up with him immediately. Brad wasn't having it because he didn't get all of his freebies, but Max got a turn-around from the guy (when two gay guys pass by each other and turn...am I really explaining this?), so he put on the full act of being devastated from Brad breaking up with him. Of course, Brad wasn't expecting the front line of the Green Bay Packers to be taking Max's side (I'm a Bears fan, what team did you expect me to say?), and they threaten to beat him up. So Brad goes back to Max, who was doing quite well with his new potential boyfriend, and apologized for every thing everybody thinks he said. Max wants to kill him, but his potential new boyfriend was already gone and Brad explained he would get the crap beat out of him if they didn't reconcile. Of course, now they want Brad and Max to kiss and make up. They do the almost-touch fake-out and run for the hills.
Now anybody would have to admit having your wedding video done "a-ha Style" would be epic, but Pete was trying to keep it in. But then a professional wedding planner asked Penny and Pete if they were trying to do their wedding alone. Marcy Grace, The Wedding Planner, was there to help. ("Yes, the movie was based on me.") Jane wasn't taking that one lying down, saying Marcy was only a pro if she added a "stitute" to that. The two get into a fight, which is exactly what Pete was trying to explain to Penny, that weddings make people crazy. Dave and Alex arriving in their insane beige napkin argument didn't help. Pete takes her in front of a backdrop of Hawaii and asks why that couldn't be enough. Penny hems and haws at the question, and Pete leaves.
Dave, still stung by Alex accusing him of being selfish at their wedding (that she walked out of, yes), talks to Penny and understands her point of view of letting everyone see she found the right person, especially since nobody ever thought she would find ANY guy. But she wanted Pete more than anything, so she found him and offered to go down to the courthouse right now. (PENNY: But not the one on Belmont. Or on Michigan. I kind of went through a bailiff phase.) Pete wanted her to be happy, and the fact she even considered eloping was enough to convince him to have a wedding. And Dave apologized to Alex by giving her a baby chick (to complete her baby animal petting zoo for her wedding) in a beige napkin.
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