Community (TV Series)
Intro to Knots (2013)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Abed Nadir : [doorbell rings] Oh, my God. Jeff, do you have any milk duds?
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Jeff Winger : I'm just saying the Professor can't get any more tied up, and we can't get any less than an "F", so let's just take a beat and think this through.
Abed Nadir : Okay, this is way better than Die Hard in a restaurant.
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Professor Cornwallis : I mean, come on, you don't deserve an "F". And you know that, because of your impairment, they'll forgive you anyway.
Abed Nadir : All true, but I'm probably not your best target. If you don't mind, I'd like to get some popcorn. Typically, it takes a while for villains to ramp up. Promise not to monologue till I get back?
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Professor Cornwallis : Usually, the cracks are hidden within the alliances. So let's see. In any group of seven, there's bound to be some romantic entanglements. See, I've noticed that the damaged blonde is dating the childish black one, I wonder, does anyone take issue with that pairing?
Jeff Winger : You're fishing, professor. No one has anything against Britta and Troy dating.
Britta Perry : And that's coming from Jeff, and we used to date, so...
Jeff Winger : Britta, information is ammo. And what we did was not dating.
Britta Perry : Uh.
Professor Cornwallis : Ah. A little friction. That usually indicates heat.
Troy Barnes : Heat? There's no heat. If there was heat, I'd be nervous, and, if I was nervous, I'd be rambling, and I'm definitely not rambling, so there's no heat.
Professor Cornwallis : Ah, well, I think we found our triangle. Thank you and welcome to the party, Troy.
Troy Barnes : He knows my name.
Jeff Winger : Guys, keep it together.
[microwave beeps]
Abed Nadir : [chuckles, returns to a silent room] I missed something great, didn't I?
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Abed Nadir : At nice times like this, I wonder what's happening in the darkest timeline.
Ben Chang : Timeline?
Jeff Winger : Abed, there are no dark timelines.
[cut to dark timeline]
Jeff Winger : Your honor, I may not have a right arm, but I am armed with what's right. My client Miss Edison did rob several drug stores, and, yes, she did stab several pharmacists, but let's talk about the bigger crime, that someone so beautiful has been removed from society.
Judge : Miss Edison,
[bangs gavel]
Judge : you are hereby released from Greendale Insane Asylum.
[baliff removes straitjacket and Hannibal mask]
Annie Edison : [embraced with Jeff] Are you sure you don't have a problem with our age difference?
Jeff Winger : Yeah, I wish you were even younger. Now, come on, the others are waiting. We've got a prime timeline to destroy.
[evil laughter followed by a passionate kiss]
