- Erin Hannon: I was intimidated by Andy's family before, and now I have to see the First Lady at holidays? She's gonna be like 'what's your stands on politics?' or 'what is the best war to do?' and I will just be like, duh!
- Oscar Martinez: [about Andy being related to Michelle Obama] You know, if there's another explanation I don't really see what it could possibly be.
- Andy Bernard: What's going on here? I'm related to the First Lady, ok? Get over it. I still need weekly status reports from most of you, so... can we get back to work, please? Get back to work
- [Makes whipping sounds at everyone]
- Andy Bernard: .
- Oscar Martinez: Andy, no! I would be very polite today.
- Andy Bernard: Why, is it employee's day or something? I *cannot* keep track of these BS holidays.
- Oscar Martinez: Your connection to Michelle Obama has certain negative connotations. Most likely, your family were slave owners.
- Andy Bernard: Does anyone else think it's possible that I come from slave owners?
- [Almost everyone raises their hands]
- Dwight Schrute: Who are you?
- Asian Jim Halpert: Who am I? I'm Jim. We've been working together for 12 years. Weird joke, Dwight.
- Dwight Schrute: You're not Jim. Jim's not Asian.
- Asian Jim Halpert: You seriously never noticed?
- Pam Beesly: Here is the mural I did for Angela's baby.
- Nellie Bertram: That is amazing! Oh, I love the lion in the tuxedo.
- Pam Beesly: Angela insisted that all the animals be fully clothed.
- Dwight Schrute: [about Game of Thrones] It has a lot of nudity, which I fast-forward through to get to the chopped-off heads.
- Pam Beesly: Oh, can I help? We could say someone is related to um, Tonya Harding.
- Nellie Bertram: Pam, I'm related to Tonya Harding.
- Pam Beesly: Oh, gee, I'm...
- Nellie Bertram: No, I'm just practicing my lying.