The Office (TV Series)

Welcome Party (2012)

Zach Woods: Gabe Lewis

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Pam Beesly : Hey Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card?

  Jim Halpert : Oh, great.

  [reads] 

  Jim Halpert : "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy." Oh, that's not good.

  Phyllis Vance : Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.

  Pam Beesly : It's nice. It's funny. It mentions his tonsillectomy and makes a funny little joke about his moustache.

  Jim Halpert : Stanley doesn't have a moustache.

  Pam Beesly : Yeah, he does.

  Oscar Martinez : Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a moustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a moustache.

  Pam Beesly : Okay, Phyllis sits across from him every day. Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not?

  Phyllis Vance : Oh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't.

  Pam Beesly : Phyllis! What are you talking- The whole card depends on this!

  Jim Halpert : Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?

  Angela Martin-Lipton : Because we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.

  Pam Beesly : Okay, which one of these looks more right?

  [holds up drawing of Stanley with and without a moustache] 

  Dwight Schrute : Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left.

  Gabe Lewis : [bell dings]  Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?

  Jim Halpert : Okay, quick. Who says moustache?

  [Pam, Oscar, Dwight, and Creed raise their hands] 

  Dwight Schrute : Yep.

  Jim Halpert : Who says no moustache?

  [Jim, Angela, and Phyllis raise their hands; Gabe enters, hiding Stanley's face] 

  Gabe Lewis : [reveals Stanley's moustache]  Ah! Ha ha ha!

  Phyllis Vance : He does have a moustache.

  Dwight Schrute : Yes!

  Pam Beesly : Welcome back, Stanley.

  [Stanley grunts]