- Victoria Chase: Oh, please! No one's littler than you. If I popped your head back, a Pez would fly out.
- Melanie Moretti: She gave me a tapeworm! I thought you said you'd been taking that supplement for years.
- Susan Lucci: I have. Look at me. At this point, I'm more worm than woman.
- Victoria Chase: You'll find that this is the hardest part of real life. You can't naturally fade out and go to commercial.
- Elka Ostrovsky: We've never had a big star in the house before.
- Victoria Chase: I'm big, Elka.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Well sure, compared to her, you're a moose.