- Dwight Schrute: If Jim has bed bugs, that means they're everywhere. I can't risk them coming back to Schrute Farms. Our biggest attraction is our 200 year old mattresses.
- Kelly Kapoor: Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. It just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.
- Dwight Schrute: Win at all costs. Don't respect women. These are the tenets I was brought up with, and they have served me well. But my ancestors never worked in corporate America. They were farmers. And before that, hunters. And before that, time travelers. And before that, me again. At least, that's how the legend goes. The point is they never had to worry about how they got ahead. They just had to put food on the table and not alter the past.
- Andy Bernard: For dinner I went South of the border, and then went South of that border, and we have ourselves a Jamaican feast mon.
- Phyllis Vance: If I wanted Jamaican food, I would just hire a bunch of bodyguards and go there.
- Pam Beesly: Oscar thinks that having a dog is just like having a baby.
- Angela Martin-Lipton: News flash: If you didn't carry it around for nine months, it isn't your kid.
- Pam Beesly: Exactly. Unless you adopted, of course.
- Angela Martin-Lipton: That is where we disagree.
- Andy Bernard: Ball droppings can be beautiful. For example, when it turns an awkward soprano into a rich, full tenor.
- Ryan Howard: Why would Erin confide in me that she's staying here in Florida if she didn't want me to make some last-ditch, nothing-to-lose, Kelly Ka-who? run at her?
- Ryan Howard: I will have a glass of your oakiest Chardonnay, please.
- Erin Hannon: And I will have a waffle with your mapliest syrup.
- Stanley Hudson: [sees a female co-worker in Jim's hotel room] Careful, Jim. It gets easier and easier.