- Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz: No, no, you guys are nerds! I'm cool! Well, at least I would've been when I hit myself with the inator, which is now destroyed. CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!
- Dad: [reaching behind Phineas' ear] Speaking of coins, what's this here, behind your ear? It's a quarter!
- Buford: [impressed] How did you do THAT?
- Dad: A magician never reveals his secrets.
- [Dad exits]
- Buford: Your dad's really great at tricks.
- Phineas: Not really. I just keep a bunch of quarters behind my ear 'cause he enjoys it so much.
- Buford: [aiming to say "there you are" in French] Viola!
- Vanessa: Do you usually have coffee with your dad's sworn enemies' daughters?
- Monty Monogram: No, just girls whose roofs I've flown off of.
- Vanessa: Oh, see, now I feel special.
- Monty Monogram: Yeah, I don't just fly off any roof, you know.
- Vanessa: Of course not.
- Monty Monogram: I've got standards.
- Candace: A Ducky Momo first edition green pupil variant with a left-handed pull cord! Heavenly light! Angel chorus! I must have it!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ah, waiter! Do you mind if I tell you my evil scheme? My nemesis didn't show up today and I still have to... get it out. I figured, since I'm getting nowhere with the older Tri-State population, maybe I should go for the younger demographic; so, behold, the Cool-inator! Well, you can't really behold it. It's... it's out in the car, but, trust me, it's behold-worthy. First, I will suck all the cool out of this place - it being the hippest coffee house in town - then I will blast myself with the cool concentrate, transforming into such an "awesome dude" that you, disaffected youth, will have no choice but to follow me blindly and help me, you know, take over the Tri-State Area!
- Vendor #2: You broke the arms off my armoire! Now it's just a oire!