Community (TV Series)
Curriculum Unavailable (2012)
Donald Glover: Troy Barnes
Photos
Quotes
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Troy Barnes : Good news, guys! I spent all of my money!
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Dr. Heidi : Because, Ms. Edison, Greendale is purgatory, and I am the Devil.
Jeff Winger : What?
Troy Barnes : I knew it!
Jeff Winger : [slaps Troy] Stop letting him make you realize stuff!
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Annie Edison : [singing] Troy and Abed and Annie in the morning!
Troy Barnes : What are you doing?
Annie Edison : Nothing.
Annie Edison , Troy Barnes : Nothing my ass.
[Gestures to the empty space around]
Annie Edison , Troy Barnes : What are all these cameras doing here?
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Troy Barnes : Sixty *dollars*? Hello? Rich people, Troy's joining you.
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Dr. Heidi : All of this behavior started after you were expelled?
Annie Edison : There may have been a ramp-up.
[abrupt cut to group study room f]
Abed Nadir : [moaning as custodian manually resets an analog clock back one hour]
Troy Barnes : It's okay, buddy. Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay?
Abed Nadir : But it doesn't make any sense.
Annie Edison : Think of it this way. We get the hour back later in the year.
Troy Barnes : Yeah.
Abed Nadir : [confused, shrieks wide-eyed with terror]
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Troy Barnes : Uh, guys, while we were remembering Chang is crazy, the fake doctor sneaked away.
Jeff Winger : Oh, crap!
Annie Edison : What?
Annie Edison : There goes our only chance of clearing our names.
Britta Perry : You guys, forget about us. The Dean has been kidnapped. He's out there somewhere, alone and cold and most likely trying to cobble together a sexy Patty Hearst costume.
Jeff Winger : Britta's right. Wait, what?
Shirley Bennett : We need to rescue the Dean.
Pierce Hawthorne : We need to get back to that school.
Abed Nadir : And we definitely never need to do another paintball.
Annie Edison , Britta Perry , Shirley Bennett : Yeah.
Jeff Winger : See, therapy does work. We're cured.
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Annie Edison : Where's Abed? Have you seen Abed?
[Knock on door. Troy goes to open it]
Troy Barnes : He's probably out getting something really cool for the dinner.
[He opens the door]
Troy Barnes : See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police.
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Dr. Heidi : It sounds as though this Greendale had quite an effect on all of you. You should all definitely stop dwelling on it if you want to be healthy.
Pierce Hawthorne : Well, come on, it wasn't all bad. I was there longer than anybody, and I'm fine. How are you? Why do you ask? 3:30.
Troy Barnes : [chuckles] Uh-oh.
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Dr. Heidi : And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed in these little misadventures?
Troy Barnes : Take that back. Our adventures are very manly.
Dr. Heidi : I have to say there's nothing more important to mental health than a support system. And assuming that this group is, for Abed, said support system, I think I've heard everything I need to hear in order to make a decision. I think that Abed should be committed.
Jeff Winger : You mean committed to his character work, right? Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper.
Abed Nadir : Cigarettes.
[everybody laughs]
Dr. Heidi : No, I mean an institution.
Jeff Winger : You mean like marriage?
Dr. Heidi : I mean a mental institution.
Jeff Winger : [Groucho Marx impersonation] Ah... so do I.
[normal voice]
Jeff Winger : Will someone please help me lighten the mood?
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Troy Barnes : [Crying] Please, Mr. Dr. psychiatrist, sir, please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail.
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Annie Edison : Troy, is that a casserole?
Troy Barnes : It's bagel bites in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction with a doritos glaze.
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Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [harmonizing] Troy and Abed in the morning.
[quietly]
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : Nightsss.
Troy Barnes : [normal voice] Welcome back, all you night owls.
Abed Nadir : [dials out] Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines?
Troy Barnes : Talk to us, lonely hearts.
Abed Nadir : We got Jeff W. calling.
Jeff Winger : [awakened] Hello?
Troy Barnes : Hey, Jeff, what's your question?
Jeff Winger : Who is this?
Troy Barnes : Great question. We're us.
Jeff Winger : [irritated] You guys, it's 3:00 in the morning. I'm trying to sleep.
Abed Nadir : I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff. Why don't you stay on the line and we'll get your information.
Troy Barnes : Yeah, we'll get you the help you need.
Abed Nadir : Our next caller's Annie E. What's on your mind tonight, Annie?
Annie Edison : Hey, guys, long time, first time, love the show.
Troy Barnes : Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help?
Annie Edison : [bangs on the adjoining wall and yells emphatically] You can shut up and go to sleep!
Abed Nadir : [quietly] Well, Jacks and Jills, that's about all the time we have tonight.
Troy Barnes : [quietly] Yeah, until next time, may your dreams be sweet and your nightmares be "spooky monster" scary and not "grandma died" scary.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [quietly harmonizing] Troy and Abed in the morning
Troy Barnes : [loud whisper] Nightsss.