My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (TV Series)

A Friend in Deed (2012)

Richard Newman: Cranky Doodle Donkey

Quotes 

• Pinkie Pie : I've never seen you before.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Kid, you're smarter than you look.

  Pinkie Pie : Thanks! I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name?

  [looks at the side of the wagon he's pulling] 

  Pinkie Pie : "Property of C.D.D." I'm guessing that last "D" is for Donkey.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Quick as a whip, kid.

  Pinkie Pie : Now, how 'bout that C. Hmm... Calvin? Calhoun? Caleb? Carl? Carmine? Carlo? Charlie? Chester? Chico? Claudio? Cleetus? Clifford? Coraline? Cornelius? Cortez? Crank? Christopher?...

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : *Cranky*! It's Cranky, alright?

  Pinkie Pie : And your middle name?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [mumbles]  Doodle.

  Pinkie Pie : I'm sorry?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [quickly]  Doodle.

  Pinkie Pie : One more time...!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [sighs]  Doodle.

  Pinkie Pie : [gasps]  So you're a Cranky Doodle Donkey?

  [sings to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"] 

  Pinkie Pie : You're a Cranky Doodle Donkey guy/A Cranky Doodle Donkey/I never met you but you're my new friend and/I'm your best friend Pinkie Pie!

• Pinkie Pie : C'mon now, Doodle, give a smile!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Nopony calls me Doodle!

  [he leaves] 

  Pinkie Pie : ...what just happened?

  [in her imagination, she visualizes the steps of making a friend with Cranky in felt cutouts] 

  Pinkie Pie : Meet somepony new, check. Introduce myself, check. Sing random song outta nowhere, check. Become instant best friends... uncheck.

  [back out of her mind] 

  Pinkie Pie : I don't get it. How can somepony not become instant best friends with me? Was it something I said? Was it something I sang? This is no time for the blame game, Pinkie! There's somepony new in town, and you need to win him over!

  [writes on a notepad] 

  Pinkie Pie : "Try everything you can to make Cranky smile and be your friend."

  [She holds up a large felt checkmark] 

  Pinkie Pie : Check!

• Cranky Doodle Donkey : Pinkie! Keep your hooves off my wagon!

  Pinkie Pie : [sadly]  Okay, Cranky.

  [she walks away, but then has an idea and gasps. She runs off screen and comes back with a wagon of her own, speaking quickly] 

  Pinkie Pie : I promised not to touch your wagon so I brought one of my own! I use it to welcome folks!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Who'd'a guessed.

  Pinkie Pie : Maybe we can be wagon buddies? Well, you've gotta at least let me give you the special welcome that comes with it...

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [groans]  Let's get this over with.

  Pinkie Pie : That's the spirit!

  [Pinkie Pie presses a button on her welcome wagon, causing many horns and flags to come out of it, and the music starts up] 

  Pinkie Pie : Welcome welcome welcome/A fine welcome to you

  [she puts a black and orange party hat on Cranky] 

  Pinkie Pie : Welcome welcome welcome/I say how do you do?

  [blows a trumpet in his ear through his head] 

  Pinkie Pie : [marching around him hitting a bass drum in time to the song]  Welcome welcome welcome/I say hip hip hurray

  [finishing her song with a jig in front of the wagon] 

  Pinkie Pie : Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville today!

  [spoken] 

  Pinkie Pie : Wait for it...

  [song ends; the wagon blasts Cranky with confetti and shoots cake batter into the air] 

• Pinkie Pie : [Pinkie Pie has mistaken Cranky's toupee for a spider and ruined it]  I can fix this, I can fix this!

  [through megaphone, at the top of a flagpole in town square] 

  Pinkie Pie : Hey, everypony! Does anypony have a toupee?

  Ponies : [Huh?, Toupee?, etc] 

  Pinkie Pie : [through megaphone]  This donkey is really, really, bald!

  Ponies : [laughing] 

  Pinkie Pie : [through megaphone]  What's so funny? This is serious business, everypony! Cranky needs a new wig to cover his hairless head!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : I have had enough!

• Pinkie Pie : [in Cranky's house, looking at a snow globe of his]  This is so pretty! Where'd you get it?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Manhattan, now put it down, gently.

  Pinkie Pie : [she does so, on the fireplace mantle]  Really? What were you doin' there?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Trying to find a friend.

  Pinkie Pie : Oooh, I'm always trying to find friends, and today I found you. See how good I am at it?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : This was a special friend.

  Pinkie Pie : Like me?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [with sarcasm]  No, you're *extra* special, kid.

  Pinkie Pie : [to herself]  Yes. I'm in.

  [to Cranky, about a red ornament] 

  Pinkie Pie : Woow, where in Equestria did you get this, Cranky?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Fillydelphia.

  Pinkie Pie : It's awfully pretty.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Yes, she was.

  Pinkie Pie : Huh?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : I mean, it was - I mean, it is! - Yes, it's pretty, now put it down!

• Pinkie Pie : [Pinkie has damaged one of Cranky's books by accidentally burning it and then soaking it]  I'm sorry, Cranky!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [angry sarcasm]  Oh, you're sorry, well, then, everything is fine.

  [in her face] 

  Pinkie Pie : [pause; unsure]  ... It is?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [forcing her to back out through the front door]  *No*! It isn't! Listen to me, kid, I will *never* be your friend!

  Pinkie Pie : [now outside]  Never, or never-ever?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Never, ever, ever, ever, ever!

  [slams the door] 

  Pinkie Pie : That's four "ever"s. That's like... forever!

  [tears well up] 

• Pinkie Pie : Cranky, please, *please* accept my apology! I'd do anything to make it up to you!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : But there's nothing you can do! You ruined my book! You destroyed all I have to remember her by!

  Pinkie Pie : Her? Her who? The special friend?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Go away, Pinkie!

• Pinkie Pie : [muffled, from behind the door]  Cranky? It's me again. I understand that you don't wanna be my friend or accept my apology... before I leave you alone forever, I have something to at least try to make up for ruining your book.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : No, I don't want it, kid! Anything you would give me is sure to lead to some sort of disaster!

  Matilda : [muffled, outside with Pinkie]  Goodness, you really *are* cranky.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : [undoes all of his locks and chains on the door, opens it, and addresses Matilda]  It can't be... is it really you?

  Matilda : It can, and it is.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Matilda! But how?

  Matilda : Pinkie.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : But... I never told you about her!

  Pinkie Pie : You didn't have to. I put two and two and two together and it added up to Matilda.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : What?

  Pinkie Pie : Well when you were talking about your souvenirs, you said something about trying to find a special friend! And y'know, I wasn't just born yesterday, nuh-uh! My birthday isn't for another seventy five days!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Huh?

  Pinkie Pie : And then, in your scrapbook, there was a flower, an old ticket, and a menu from the Grand Galloping Gala! And I knew I recognized all these things.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : But how could you have ever seen them before?

  Matilda : Because I also have them in *my* scrapbook.

  Pinkie Pie : And I'd seen them in Matilda's book!

• Cranky Doodle Donkey : Oh, Matilda. The night we met at the gala was the most magical night of my life.

  [old timey music; flashback to their younger years at the Gala] 

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : I couldn't wait to see you again. But when I came to your room the next day, you were gone.

  Matilda : Didn't you get my note?

  [young Cranky walks out of their room, not noticing the note that was taped to the interior side of the door] 

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : No! I never got it. Ever since that day I've gone from town, to town, to town... searching all over Equestria for you, until finally I gave up. I came to Ponyville to retire from my search.

  Matilda : I was living in Ponyville the whole time. I always hoped that some day you would come and find me... Doodle.

  Pinkie Pie : [suddenly unnerved]  Uh, Matilda...

  [she zips in close] 

  Pinkie Pie : Nopony calls him Doodle.

  [Cranky approaches Matilda] 

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Nopony... but Matilda. Mmm.

  Matilda : Oh, Doodle, I'm so happy to see you.

  [they nuzzle] 

• Pinkie Pie : So does this mean that you accept my apology?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Yes, Pinkie, I accept your apology, and I am honored to call you my friend.

  Pinkie Pie : [explodes like a firework]  Woohoo! This is just fantastic! Ooh, now we can hang out together, and chat, and sing songs, and

  [gasps] 

  Pinkie Pie : party! Oh, I can throw you guys a big party! It'll be called a "Welcome to Ponyville, I found my lost love, I'm BFF's with Pinkie Pie Party"!

  [she sees that the couple is paying more attention to each other than her, and that she needs to dial it back] 

  Pinkie Pie : ... Or maybe something less over-the-top and not so super-hyper.

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Pinkie, we're eternally grateful to you. But... Matilda and I just want to spend some time together in peace and quiet.

  Pinkie Pie : Oh. Um, but we're still friends?

  Cranky Doodle Donkey : Pinkie, you went way, way, way out of your way to make me happy. Of course we're friends.

  Pinkie Pie : Great!

• Pinkie Pie : [voice over]  Dear Princess Celestia, there are many different kinds of friends, and many ways to express friendship. Some friends like to run and laugh and play together. But others just like to be left alone, and that's fine too. But the best thing about friendship is being able to make your friends smile.

  Pinkie Pie : [singing to the tune of "The Yankee Doodle Boy", sweetly, walking away from Cranky's home]  He had a Cranky Doodle sweetheart/She's his cranky doodle joy

  [more lively, right at the couple's window] 

  Pinkie Pie : I helped the Cranky Doodle boy, yes!/I helped the Cranky Doodle boy!

  Cranky Doodle Donkey , Matilda : [warningly]  Pinkie!

  Pinkie Pie : Whoops, privacy. Sorry.

  [a piano rendition of "Yankee Doodle" plays over the credits]