Lexi Belle: Buffy

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Male Vampire : [after a few seconds of ominous growling behind a hooded girl]  Dammit! Not a scream. Not even a whimper. I must be losing my touch.

  Buffy : [turns around to face the vampire]  You're about to lose more than your touch... like your face!

• Willow : You know, you may be the slayer, the girl destined to fight off the forces of darkness and all, but... maybe you shouldn't slay out alone. You know, we're your friends and we're here to help you, Buffy.

  Buffy : Thanks, Willow. I appreciate it.

  Willow : And it's not like we can't handle it. Giles is your watcher, I'm a witch, and Xander's the... the...

  Xander : the... Ron Weasley? Come on, no really, I bring a lot to the table besides comic relief. I bring donuts... and plus I play a key role in battle. I distract.

  Buffy : And by distract, you mean scream and shriek? Seriously, you really shouldn't leap into the fray like that.

  Willow : I think you said he should be fray-adjacent.

  Buffy : Yes, fray-adjacent. And by adjacent I mean as fray away from the fight as possible.

• Willow : [Buffy and Willow are outside walking around]  So, have you picked out your courses for Sunnydale ULC yet?

  Buffy : No, I've been procrastinating, It's been a *very* slay-heavy summer. What about Oz? What has he been up to?

  Willow : He's out of town. On tour with the band. He won't be back till Monday. But he gave me this!

  [She holds up a butt plug] 

  Willow : He told me it reminded him of me. I miss him.

  [Buffy sighs] 

  Willow : Buffy, what's wrong?

  Buffy : Oh, nothing, just that the boyfriend broke up with me right before prom left Sunnydale without saying goodbye right after graduation. And now I have insomnia because of him. I'm absolutely irritable.

  Willow : I couldn't tell. How long?

  Buffy : Since he left. And patrolling hasn't helped, either. I've even tried masturbating.

  Willow : M-masturbating? You mean... pleasuring yourself?

  Buffy : A lot.

  Willow : A lot?

  Buffy : Nothing's worked.

  Willow : Nothing's worked? You mean... with fingers... or something? Or a flute?

  Buffy : [Buffy and Willow sit down at a water fountain]  Willow, Angel left because of me. He said I deserve a normal life since he can't make love to me. He's not coming back. I can't help it, but I still love him.

  Willow : [Buffy rests her head on Willow's shoulder]  Oh, Buffy.

• Willow : Hey guys.

  [Giles, Buffy and Xander just stare at her] 

  Willow : Oh, shit.

  [Willow is holding up a bowl of M&M cookies in front of Buffy] 

  Willow : Eat a cookie? Ease my pain?

  [Buffy doesn't say anything] 

  Willow : The magic box didn't have the right ingredients, so I improvised. I just wanted Buffy and Angel to have one more night together. To cure her insomnia. I guess it didn't turn out the way I wanted it. Sorry Xander.

  [Willow hold up the plate of cookies to Xander] 

  Willow : Cookie?

  [Xander hold his hand up to get a cookie but eventually does take one] 

  Xander : You know, when Martha Stewart looses her sparkles, does she just have extra sequences laying around that she use? Wait, she probably does. Or when MacGyver gets in a fix, does he improvise?

  [Willow slightly raises her right eyebrow] 

  Xander : On second thought, look I know you mean well, but what you did has really been giving me the wiggins.

  Buffy : That spell created more then just a dream. It felt like it bent reality.

  [Willow holds her head down in shame] 

  Rupert Giles : Willow, you more then anyone should know that the black arts are not to be trifled with. Balance must be maintained amongst elements. Above all else.

  [Giles scoffs] 

  Rupert Giles : Quite frankly, I'm amazed that that the repercussions from your indiscretion was worse.

  Xander : At least she didn't cross the streams.

  [Giles stares at Xander] 

  Xander : Uh, sorry.

  Rupert Giles : [Giles takes a deep breath]  Well, I do hope you learned your lesson.

  Willow : Cookie?

  Rupert Giles : Oh, thank you.

  [Giles takes a deep breath] 

  Rupert Giles : Meanwhile, the local news is reporting a another disappearance. That brings the total up to four.

  Buffy : Okay, I'll go and patrol and check the usual hangouts. Research mode. Go online, check the patterns for all these missing people.

  Rupert Giles : Yes, we should be able to triangulate where the victims are being held... if they're still alive.

  [Willow, Xander and Buffy get up off the couch, Buffy goes over to Giles] 

  Buffy : Never ends, does it?

  Rupert Giles : Not while Sunnydale is on top of the Hellmouth.