Keith Lemon (Leigh Francis) is preparing to take his invention, the securipole, which he has been attempting to lift off the ground for twenty years, to a business convention in London. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Rosie (Laura Aikman) has discovered that she is pregnant, but due to Keith being away, instead confides in his best friend, Dougie (Kevin Bishop). At the convention, the securipole fails to attract any big investor attention, and back at home, an order of 1,000,000 securipoles arrives, much to Rosie and Dougie's dismay. Realising that his invention may never be successful, and that he now owes Evil Steve (Leigh Francis) a ton of money for the securipoles, Lemon decides to stay in London, and takes the advice of fellow businessman Kushvinder (Harish Patel), and accepts the gift of a new style mobile phone that Kushvinder has invented. Attempting to turn the gift into his next money-making scheme, Lemon accepts an offer to appear on David Hasselhoff's prime time television chat ...
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Look, Keith I don't like the C word.
Oh, I thought you were gonna say cunt.
Performed by Warrant See more