- Hal: I used to ride a horse once. I had a sword... I was respected. better than that, I was feared. i... Peasants had their backs flayed for looking at me funny. It was brutal but it worked. We had order, we had respect and now we have this?
- Tom: Okay then mate let's go in the back and have a bit of a chat now shall we, come on.
- Hal: And I had a shield. A red one!
- Annie: [Frustrated with Tom and Hal ignoring her] Annie! How was your day? Oh, thank you. Thank you for asking, because it was a bit weird. I got stalked by a vampire in the park and then I pushed my sex memories into another vampire's sad little vampire brain. Ooh, that is weird Annie. Yes, I know. Thank you for asking.
- Tom: Is there something you'd like to tell us, Annie?
- Hal: I cannot sleep in a barn, or a tent, or a caravan, or anywhere without central heating, carpets and Radio 4. Now, that should be on my list, really it should. You make me do that, I won't be responsible for my actions.
- Annie: Why would you want to save her?
- Regus: You really want an answer to this right now?
- Annie: Before I bring the baby into the weird vampire's house? Yes.
- Regus: Right. For four hundred years I've been collecting and cataloging vampire myths and legends. Four hundred years. In dark rooms, libraries and cellars. Pouring over manuscripts, scrolls, books covered in mildew. Because you can't Google this stuff, you know.
- [Starting to freak out]
- Regus: I've got asthma. Actual asthma. Vampires don't get asthma. And no one wanted to know about my work. They just laughed and ate another virgin. So that has to be worth something. If it's not true-if that baby doesn't mean the end of the vampires-then what have I been doing for all those years? It will have meant nothing!