Community (TV Series)
Regional Holiday Music (2011)
Taran Killam: Cory Radison
Photos
Quotes
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Abed Nadir : Britta.
Britta Perry : [gasps] Is this about regionals?
Abed Nadir : I just talked to Cory, and he needs you to be the mouse king instead of me.
Britta Perry : Me? But I'm supposed to be a mute tree.
Abed Nadir : It's an emergency.
Britta Perry : Hmm?
Abed Nadir : This will help us get to regionals!
Britta Perry : I knew it! Wait, what are the lyrics?
Abed Nadir : They're in your heart, Britta.
Britta Perry : Right. Duh doy!
Annie Edison , Troy Barnes , Jeff Winger , Pierce Hawthorne , Shirley Bennett : [singing in unison] we are everyone, and we are everything
Britta Perry : [Britta comes out on stage singing poorly] Christmas time!
Cory Radison : What the...?
Dean Pelton : Oh, Britta's in this?
Britta Perry : [stomping her feet off-time] I got a Christmas time for me / I got a Christmas time for a tree
Cory Radison : No! She's ruining it!
Britta Perry : Christmas / Christmas time / me so Christmas, me so merry
Cory Radison : [charges the stage] No, stop, stop, stop, stop! What are you doing? Get off the stage!
Britta Perry : [speaking] I'm singing my heart's song.
Cory Radison : Get off the stage, and never sing again! You are the worst!
Jeff Winger : Hey!
Troy Barnes : You do not get to call Britta "the worst!"
Audience : Yeah! Let her finish!
Dean Pelton : Mr. Radison, I think it's fine. I know Greendale is an all-inclusive school. Why don't we let Britta sing her awkward song?
Audience : Yeah!
[cheering]
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Cory Radison : Glee club is supposed to be gleeful and happy and fun! And you will do it right, or there's gonna be another bus crash! I mean, figuratively. I'm not saying I killed the glee club, I'm saying that if you don't listen to me, it's like you're literally cutting the fuel line on your own... Hey, look! Kings of Leon!
[Runs away]
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Cory Radison : [to Britta] Get off the stage and never sing again! You are the worst!
Jeff Winger : Hey!
Troy Barnes : You do not get to call Britta the worst!
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Cory Radison : I could not have done this without your recruiting skills, Abed.
Abed Nadir : I was happy to do it. For a while there, I thought we were gonna end the semester on a really dark note. I'm glad we're singing and dancing together instead. This has been a good time.
Cory Radison : And it's going to continue to be a good time.
[increasingly manic]
Cory Radison : If we win regionals, then it's straight on to sectionals. And then a week later is semis. Then semiregionals. Then regional-semis. Then national lower-zone semis!
Abed Nadir : Oh. But I kinda thought this was... you know, just for Christmas.
Cory Radison : [mania continues] No, no, no. This is forever. This is what we do now. This is who we are.
[Abed's eyes widen with fear]
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Troy Barnes : This guy's like human froyo.
Cory Radison : Look, when the last glee club died in that bus crash, you guys stepped up. And you were the best gosh darn emergency substitutes I've ever worked with.
Shirley Bennett : Aw!
Cory Radison : Well, this time... I'm not gonna kid you. I won't be easy.
Dean Pelton : Oh.
Cory Radison : Your best... won't be good enough. And ten times your best will be so bad, I will yell at you. But I promise, if we dig down...
Jeff Winger : Pass.
Troy Barnes , Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison , Pierce Hawthorne , Britta Perry , Abed Nadir : [in unison] Yeah.
Cory Radison : Okay.
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Cory Radison : [singing] Glee is the answer when questions are wrong.
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Abed Nadir : What are you still doing here?
Cory Radison : I thought I'd give her one more tinkle before I took down decorations. No glee club means no pageant, means no Christmas.
Abed Nadir : I'm sure trying to make things brighter just would've made more darkness.
Cory Radison : That sounds like a certain ex-lawyer talking.
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Cory Radison : [singing] Glee! It's a feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.