- Sean Donahue: I got to bounce in a minute. Spanish test Tuesday. I got to study.
- Axl Heck: Crap! There's a test Tuesday? How are we supposed to know? She writes everything on the board in Spanish.
- Frankie Heck: We have to get a new roof.
- Mike Heck: Good idea. I'll go dig up the gold bars we buried in the backyard.
- Frankie Heck: What about our emergency fund?
- Mike Heck: Went towards paying off Brick's cavity.
- [looks at Brick eating a candy bar]
- Axl Heck: Schmula. It's our sacred day of remembrance.
- Senora Porter: You're Jewish?
- Axl Heck: I don't think it's legal for you to ask me that.
- Senora Porter: Okay. Then why does being Jewish preclude you from taking the test?
- Axl Heck: If I get what "preclude" means, Schmula is our day of silence in honor of the harvest.
- Senora Porter: In that case, Senor Heck, I'd be willing to come in on Saturday, and you can make up the test then.
- Axl Heck: Thank you for accommodating me, but, unfortunately, I have to go to a funeral.
- Senora Porter: I'm sorry to hear that. Who died?
- Axl Heck: My aunt. Her name's Betty Robinson. She was 97. She went off a bridge. It's right there in the paper. You can look it up.
- Senora Porter: [checks paper] Oh my gosh, Axl, I'm so sorry.
- Axl Heck: She shouldn't have been texting. Her last one was "Record Matlock". She'll never see that episode a fourth time.