Community (TV Series)

Competitive Ecology (2011)

David Neher: Todd

Photos 

Quotes 

• Todd : What is wrooong with you people? Huh? I thought you were supposed to be friends! I thought you were supposed to love each other! Your love is weird. And toxic! And it destroys everything it touches! I no longer care about grades. Or biology. Or finally graduating from college, like I promised my dying father. I'm going home. I'm gonna hold my wife and my child close. And I am gonna finally take my Insulin shot! Offense taken! Offense taken.

  Jeff Winger : Well, he is right about one thing. You're all terrible people. And I don't care about this stupid assignment. I'm going home. No, I'm not, I'm going to biology class. It starts in 15 minutes.

  [Annie and Shirley gasp] 

• Annie Edison : [Each member of the group is trying to break up with their lab partner]  It's not you, it's me.

  Britta Perry : I'm just trying to protect us both from more pain down the road.

  Abed Nadir : I may have a developmental disorder.

  Troy Barnes : I need to catch up on "Breaking Bad", so...

  Shirley Bennett : I'm so sorry.

  Jeff Winger : I have a developmental disorder.

  [Pretends to be Abed] 

  Jeff Winger : Star Wars, Star Wars. Cool, cool, cool. Hmm. You understand.

  Pierce Hawthorne : You're also, quite frankly, a very weird-looking man. I don't know you, but I just don't trust you. And I don't think I could grow to like you. The point of what I'm trying to tell you, Todd, is that I don't want to be your lab partner. No offense.

  Todd : None taken. I understand, you wanna be with your friends.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Don't tell me what I'm feeling or thinking. It's petty. Good-bye, Todd. Okay, how are we gonna divide the... Hey, wh...

  [Pierce realizes he's odd man out and chases after Todd] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Hey, Todd! Todd, buddy! You passed the test.

• Britta Perry : Fine, why don't I just go work with Todd?

  Todd : Hey, that's cool, whatever gets this project done.

  Jeff Winger : Oh, wow, what a great guy. I can see why all of you like him so much more than me.

  Annie Edison : Jeff, maybe it's just that no one wants to carry you all year.

  Jeff Winger : Gee, you're right, Annie, it's not personal. I mean, it's not like people really like you. You're just a good grade in a tight sweater.

  Annie Edison : You're just a bad grade in a tight sweater. And who the hell are you always texting? Everyone you know is here.

• Jeff Winger : So it's agreed. Let's go to the study room and deal with this Todd problem once and for all.

  Shirley Bennett : Okay.

  Todd : Um, did you want me to come?

  Jeff Winger : Um, it's called "the Todd problem."

• Abed Nadir : All right, yep. According to my system, Annie's gonna be with Shirley. Pierce is with me. Troy is with Britta. And Jeff is with Todd.

  Britta Perry : Okay, let's get to work.

  Jeff Winger : Uh, wait. Um, how did I end up with Todd? I mean, no offense, but he wasn't exactly at the top of my list.

  Todd : None taken.

  Abed Nadir : It's what the algorithm dictated.

  Jeff Winger : And we're just supposed to trust your algorithm?

  Abed Nadir : You're questioning my algorithm?

  Jeff Winger : Not necessarily. Is your algorithm above questioning?

  Abed Nadir : Not necessarily.

  Jeff Winger : Will you just tell us how you chose?

  Abed Nadir : I used the ballots to rank everyone by popularity. And I put the most popular with the least popular. I figured it would maximize each partnership's audience appeal.

  Jeff Winger : Oh, I-I see. So I was number one, and he was obviously number eight. No offense, Todd.

  Abed Nadir : You and Todd were four and five.

  Jeff Winger : [scoffs]  I was four?

  Abed Nadir : Todd was four.

  Jeff Winger : I was five? Well, that's insane! We don't even know him. He's a stranger.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Please, Jeff. It has feelings.

  Troy Barnes : Wait, so we all know Annie was number one, because she'd do all the work.

  Annie Edison : [demurely]  Oh.

  Troy Barnes : And Shirley was her partner, so...

  Shirley Bennett : But that means-- so you all put...

  Pierce Hawthorne : I just worked it out. I'm more popular than someone!

• Jeff Winger : Okay, we just have to come up with a fair way to decide who is gonna be stuck for an entire semester with this... random. This, uh... non-grouper. No offense, Todd.

  Todd : None taken. I'm happy to work with whoever.

  [Abed shakes his head and rolls his eyes] 

  Troy Barnes : There's only one way to decide this fairly. We go boy-girl, boy-girl. But everyone has to have a different hair color. And be from a different high school. And be a different race. I guess I'd be with... Britta.

  [laughs] 

  Troy Barnes : I guess my... my hands are tied.

  [Britta looks confused and wary] 

  Abed Nadir : The hair color concept intrigues me because it's how I distinguish you anyway.