New Girl (TV Series)
Kryptonite (2011)
Zooey Deschanel: Jess Day
Photos
Quotes
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Jess Day : [driving to Spencer's] What am I gonna say?
Nick Miller : "Hey, Spencer, give me my TV back."
Jess Day : [trying it out] Hi, Spencer. Give me my TV back, buddy.
Nick Miller : Hey, no "buddy". How about "jerk" or "idiot"?
Jess Day : Mr. Crabs.
Winston Bishop : Mr. Crabs could work.
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Spencer : You live with these people, Jess? Seriously? You can stay here until you find a better place to live.
Nick Miller : You know what? I don't like you, stretch. I don't like anything about you, and I'm not afraid to...
Jess Day : I got this. I've got a place to live, Spence. It's over. I spent six years trying to figure you out. All you are is a guy with really beautiful hair. I'm happy you cheated on me. Thank you. Because if you hadn't, I would have married you. And then you would have hurt me all over again. And yeah, I was scared to start over. I didn't know what to do. And yeah, I'm living with three guys I met on the Internet. And yeah, stranger danger is real. But I love these guys. I barely know them, I just met him, but I love them.
Nick Miller : I would just take it easy with the love stuff.
Schmidt : Come on, the love stuff.
Jess Day : All of them.
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Nick Miller : Okay, what are we watching?
Jess Day : I have some DVDs. Um, "Adventures in Babysitting". Uh, "Prancer", "Newsies", "Curly Sue".
Winston Bishop : [standing to leave] I'm going out.
Nick Miller : Yeah.
Jess Day : Wait. Where are you guys going? These are heartwarming films.
[the front door closes; after a moment, Schmidt returns and sits down]
Schmidt : Oh. "Curly Sue". Let's do this.
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Nick Miller : Jess, I've been telling you this for weeks, but you got to call Spencer and you got to get your stuff back. Unless, you know, unless you're scared.
Jess Day : No, I am not scared. It's just complicated. That stuff was... that stuff was ours, and... I miss them...
Schmidt : [distracting her] Jess, look, it's a ball.
Jess Day : Oh, a little b-ball, huh?
[dribbling]
Jess Day : I'm actually pretty good. I used to play with my mom.
[singing]
Jess Day : Defense, defense. Watch out for the defense. Sneaky, sneaky, wah-wah.
Nick Miller : [seeing Winston's look] You get used to her.
Jess Day : Hey, Schmidt.
[trying to pass it to him, it instead smashes the TV]
Nick Miller : Oh, come on.
Jess Day : [covering her face in embarrassment] Oh.
Winston Bishop : Wow.
Jess Day : Oh. My bad.
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Jess Day : I'm sorry, you guys.
Nick Miller : That was my TV, Jess.
Jess Day : It's kind of all he had.
Jess Day : I'll get you a new one. I just can't afford it right now.
Nick Miller : If you don't mind me asking, what's the plan?
Winston Bishop : You don't know me like that, but I need a TV.
Nick Miller : Do you have a TV at Spencer's?
Jess Day : Yeah, I do, it's just really big and thin and bright.
Winston Bishop : Go get it.
Nick Miller : Go get it.
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Nick Miller : All right, so what happened?
Jess Day : Ugh. He needed a ride to the airport.
Nick Miller : What?
Jess Day : For his new girlfriend.
Nick Miller : Are you kidding me?
Schmidt : Are you serious?
Cece Parekh : You didn't tell me that.
Jess Day : I'm supposed to pick her up next Sunday.
Nick Miller : Oh, my god, Jess.
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Jess Day : [with a handful of her stuff, including the TV] I got it! It's really heavy, but I got it!
Schmidt : Oh, my god, we created a monster.
Nick Miller : She looks like Helena Bonham Carter.
Winston Bishop : [seeing her struggle with the TV] Oh, god, she's gonna drop... Jess... soft hands, Jess.
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Jess Day : Hey, that's my shirt.
Spencer : No, this is my t-shirt.
Jess Day : No, that is my shirt. It has my name on it.
Winston Bishop : [seeing she's going to drop the TV] Don't drop it. Jess, don't... Don't drop... don't...
Cece Parekh : [climbing out of the car] Come on, everybody out now.
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Jess Day : I'm so excited to meet him.
Nick Miller : No, Jess, he's sleeping. He flew in late last night. We took him straight to the bar. He took a bunch of shots, got drunk, screamed "I love America", now he's happily passed out. Let's let him sleep.
Jess Day : Guess I'm not the new kid anymore. Just one of the guys.
Nick Miller : You're still the new kid. Winston lived here before Coach did.
Jess Day : So, Coach said that they used to play basketball together in college, but then Winston went pro?
Schmidt : In Latvia, okay? He went... went pro in Latvia. It's a big difference. Well, the team logo is a fig. Just a... just one single fig.
Jess Day : Oh, you're jealous. That's so cute.
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Jess Day : I can't believe you didn't tell me he was hung over.
Nick Miller : I totally told you he was hung over. I said he was drunk at the bar and now he's passed out.
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Jess Day : Do you have a tank top I could borrow? You look like you're about my size. It's just that I'm really low on clothes right now, 'cause I broke up with my boyfriend.
Schmidt : Oh, god.
Jess Day : I caught him cheating, and I just, like, grabbed whatever I could, and...
Schmidt : Jess, you know what? I'll let you check my lost and found. It's where I keep all the stuff that girls leave behind in my room after we fornicate.
[Winston pinches the bridge of his nose]
Schmidt : [leaving with Jess] Got sizes zero through ten.
Winston Bishop : What have you done to me, Nick?
Nick Miller : I am so happy you're back.
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Jess Day : I can't call Spencer. I haven't talked to him since he cheated on me with that ho. Actually, that's not fair. She might be a really nice ho. I just don't want to get in a big fight with Spencer. I want to be friends with him eventually.
Nick Miller : Why do you want to be friends with your ex? I don't want to be friends with Caroline, and all she did was rip me open and tear out my heart with her perfect, perfect hands.
Jess Day : He has a power over me. It's like he's a wizard and I'm his mage, and... I think it's his hair. He has this, like, really beautiful hair, and whenever I see it, I get the whoo-whoos.
Nick Miller : Oh, my god. I hate my life.
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Jess Day : $550 for the TV? Seems a little steep. I'm gonna write down a figure and this is as high as I'll go.
Pawn Shop Owner : You drew a smiley face.
Jess Day : I'm a teacher. Do it for the kids.
Pawn Shop Owner : For the kids, $550.
Jess Day : I can't go home without a TV. I thought pawn shops were about helping people, and frankly, right now I feel taken advantage of. And I just got out of a long relationship, and I don't know what I'm doing emotionally, or, let's be honest, sexually. I'll just... just get out of here.
[heading for the door, she makes several attempts to take the TV from its stand]
Pawn Shop Owner : Are you trying to rob me?
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Nick Miller : Hey, are you all right?
Jess Day : I'm sorry, I didn't get the TV.
Schmidt : What happened?
Jess Day : Ugh, I'm a terrible roommate.
Cece Parekh : I mean, seriously, you guys told her to call Spencer? That is not your job. That is my job.
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Jess Day : What's wrong with me?
Nick Miller : I figured it out. This guy's your kryptonite. You need to stand up, and you need to fight him.
Jess Day : I tried to fight him, but I can't, 'cause I'm powerless.
Nick Miller : 'Cause you're not ready to let him go. I think you know deep down, once you get your stuff back, you know, it's "over" over.
Cece Parekh : I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, but... I agree with him.
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Jess Day : I can't believe I got all my stuff back.
Nick Miller : You did, but most of it's broken.
Jess Day : Yeah, it's broken, but... I don't know. It's mine.
Nick Miller : Yeah, but it's broken.
