Black Mirror (TV Series)

Joan Is Awful (2023)

Salma Hayek: TV Joan, Salma Hayek

Photos 

Quotes 

• Salma Hayek : Whose anus is doing the shitting?

• TV Joan : Let's kill this quam-puta.

• Salma Hayek : You know I don't read this crap! I am a dyslexic, talented actress with questionable English - that's why I overpay you to protect me! I mean, doesn't my asshole have any rights?

• Joan : 'Cause you can just walk in the front door.

  Salma Hayek : We can't just do that.

  Joan : You can because you're Salma fucking Hayek.

  Salma Hayek : Thank you. You're right.

• Joan : Please don't kill me, Salma Hayek.

  Salma Hayek : You're lucky I'm a humanitarian.

• Salma Hayek : I mean, doesn't my asshole have any rights?

• Salma Hayek : Paragraph eight can suck my dick. I don't even know what it says anyway.

• Joan : You're a fucking enabler. I should be yelling at you.

  Salma Hayek : You are yelling at me.

  Joan : Well, I need to yell at someone!

• Salma Hayek : What are you wearing?

  Joan : [wearing a hoodie]  It's a disguise.

  Salma Hayek : Take it off. They're gonna think you're kidnapping me.

• Salma Hayek : You useless, overrated maggot. You take your paragraph eight and shove it up your ass! And I hope that you get paper cuts in your hemorrhoids and die!