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Title: Parker (2013)
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Jason Statham | ... | Parker | |
| Jennifer Lopez | ... | Leslie Rodgers | |
| Michael Chiklis | ... | Melander | |
| Wendell Pierce | ... | Carlson | |
| Clifton Collins Jr. | ... | Ross | |
| Bobby Cannavale | ... | Jake Fernandez | |
| Patti LuPone | ... | Ascension | |
| Carlos Carrasco | ... | Norte | |
| Micah Hauptman | ... | August Hardwicke | |
| Emma Booth | ... | Claire | |
| Nick Nolte | ... | Hurley | |
| Daniel Bernhardt | ... | Kroll | |
| Billy Slaughter | ... | Ohio State Fair Security Guard Ben | |
 |
Jon Eyez | ... | Jack |
|
|
Carl J. Walker | ... | Ohio State Fair Accounts Manager (as Carl Walker) |
Parker is a thief who has an unusual code. He doesn't steal from the poor and hurt innocent people. He is asked to join four other guys on a job. They pull it off flawlessly. They tell Parker that what they got can help them set up another job which will net them much more. But Parker doesn't want to join them and asks for his share. But they need it all so they try to kill him. They dispose of his body but someone finds him--he is still alive--and takes him to the hospital. After recovering he sets out to get back at the ones who tried to kill him, another one of his codes. Despite being told that they are working for a known mobster which he was not aware of, he still wants to go after them. He learns where they are and poses as a wealthy Texan looking to buy a house. So he hires a real estate agent, Leslie Rogers to show him around. He is actually trying to find out where they're holed up. And when he finds it, he sets out on his plan to get them. But when they learn he is alive, ... Written by rcs0411@yahoo.com
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Parker, a.k.a. "Every other Jason Statham film ever...but this time with a ten gallon". I won't be going in a detailed review, because if you've seen one Jason Statham flick you've seen every Jason Statham flick. Don't believe me? Here are some common trends I've noticed across his other films also present in this one: 1. Obligatory scene where he runs away from the hospital, minutes after waking up from being shot, beaten and/or mauled by a bear - check. 2. Semi-anonymous protagonist that is just a ridiculous badass for no apparent reason - check. 3. Whatever dubious activities he takes part in are explained to the viewer as honorable in a "everyone gets dirty" kind of way, because you know, JS has a code he adheres to and that automatically makes crime acceptable - check. 4. Women are magnetically compelled to his junk by his mere presence - check. Fast and fancy cars, because. (No I didn't forget the rest of the sentence) - check. 5.Walking around seemingly unfazed with broken appendages, ribs, collar bones, multiple gunshot wounds, knife stabbing wounds and/or bear mace - check.
All and all it's an okayish film, if you've never seen another Jason Statham flick before, but at this point it's just stupid to keep casting him in the same role, in the same film, over and over. It's obvious he's not a brilliant actor, but he has a lot more to offer than what is currently being churned out. Speaking of acting don't get me started on Jeniffer Lopez - her acting is just wince-inducing. Apparently the director thought the same and cast her in the film as a walking butt to centre shots around in the time Jason is off screen, presumably to make JS' male fans feel less awkward and have an excuse about having an erection throughout the movie, because we all know how unsure of themselves "bros" are.
It's a completely forgettable film you will probably regret paying actual real world money to see, because you will feel like you've seen this film at least 4 other times.