Atop the Fourth Wall (TV Series)

All-Star Batman & Robin #3 and #4 (2011)

Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara

Quotes 

• Linkara : [as drunk]  Do you know who I am? You should know who I am.

  [normal voice] 

  Linkara : Sorry, Senator, but you haven't paid your tab in a month.

• Linkara : [as character in comic]  She better be fine, Dorothy. She better be fine.

  [normal voice] 

  Linkara : What, haven't you heard of The Wizard of Oz book 'Dorothy and the Prostitute Village of Oz'?

• Linkara : The narration box let's us know: "The only people with any reason to be out this late are hookers or cops... and losers." Well you'd know all three of those, wouldn't you, Frank?

• Linkara : [about Batman]  But enough of that scene, it's now time to check back in with the guy Frank Miller didn't care about the last issue. What, no interludes with The Flash, who in this I'm sure is a drug-crazed extortionist? No checking in with Green Lantern who is no doubt a KKK member who devours the hearts of young girls after molesting them?

• Linkara : Yes, let's condone violence against assholes. Wait, are you even sure some of them called you names? Because as I said, there were women in the bar too.

• Linkara : The non-logic is killing my puny human brain! I need some milk.

• Linkara : What is even the hell?

• Linkara : I do apologize to my many Irish fans because I do a crappy Irish accent.

• Batman : I've kidnapped a traumatized youngster and drafted him into my holy war.

  Linkara : And from that I just have to ask: do you worship crime fighting? Is there some sort of God of Vigilantism that you pray to? No? Then it's not a holy war, you moron!

• Dick Grayson : Batman's completely nuts

  Linkara : NAWWW! What gave you that idea?

• Batman : I'm a detective.

  Linkara : No, Sherlock Holmes is a detective. Encyclopedia Brown is a detective. You're a loser who kidnapped a young boy and frequently refer to him as your ward. You haven't done one friggin' bit of detective work since you started this comic!

• Linkara : In All-Star Batman and Robin, Batman kills, maims, kidnaps and extorts; in All-Star Superman, Superman cures cancer. Point goes to the Man of Tomorrow.

• Linkara : Crazy Steve assaults Alfred, slamming him against the cave wall and yelling, "what the hell do you think you're doing, Alfred?" And if you had any lingering doubts about this not being Batman, this scene should clinch it. Batman has gotten angry at Alfred before in moments of sudden emotion, but nothing like this. Knocking Alfred around, the man who raised him as a surrogate father, because he showed some compassion to a little kid! This comic can go straight to hell!

• Batman : Alfred just told me to take a flying leap.

  Linkara : Um, I thought he said he wasn't your slave. Were you under the impression that he was?

  Batman : This little brat is going to ruin everything.

  Linkara : Hey, you're the one who kidnapped him, asshole.

• Linkara : Dick asks if he can get a change of clothes.

  Dick Grayson : I mean, tights really blow chunks.

  Linkara : Steve gives him a look that makes me think he's about to slap Dick, once again showing that he gives a rat's ass about whether or not the little kid thinks he's cool or not. But Dick continues with...

  Dick Grayson : Sorry. It's just I'm all sweaty and dirty...

  Linkara : [worried]  NO, DICK, YOU'LL JUST MAKE HIM WANT TO MOLEST YOU MORE!

• Linkara : We finally return to the flying Batmobile, where Steve's ever-deranged narrative boxes give us a keen insight into the Dark Knight Detective's mind...

  Batman : [narrating]  I've KIDNAPPED a traumatized YOUNGSTER and DRAFTED him into my HOLY WAR.

  Linkara : And from that, I just have to ask: Do you worship crimefighting? Is there some sort of "god of vigilantism" that you pray to? No? THEN IT'S NOT A HOLY WAR, YOU MORON!