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American Horror Story (TV Series 2011– ) Poster

Quotes

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Cordelia Foxx: In the absence of the council, as reigning Supreme of this coven, I hereby decree... for the murders of our sister witch, Cecily Pembroke and our college, Quentin Fleming... you... Myrtle Snow, are hereby sentenced to death by fire.

Myrtle Snow: Delia, my sweet daughter, I have never been more proud.

Cordelia Foxx: Any last words?

Myrtle Snow: Only one. BALENCIAGA!

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Dandy Mott: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

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Zoe Benson: Do you think Fiona can fix it?

Madison Montgomery: You're such a Goddamn idiot. I can't believe you told them everything. I'm supposed to be cleaning up my act! When this gets out, I'm screwed!

Zoe Benson: Who cares? This is murder, like multiple murders!

Madison Montgomery: They're not gonna find any evidence that we messed with the bus because we did not mess with the bus! What did you do to that shit dick in the hospital, though?

Fiona Goode: [Fiona comes in, angry] Idiots.

[She telekinetically throws Madison and Zoe up against the wall and they come crashing down, landing on the floor]

Fiona Goode: Have you any idea what's going on out there? Now, I forgave your ham-handed mass murder business with the bus over exuberance of youth and all that, but if you haven't got the Goddamn brains to know that when strangers come asking questions, we close ranks, then I fear our line is truly at an end.

Zoe Benson: But they knew so much already.

Fiona Goode: I COULDN'T TOAST A PIECE OF BREAD with the heat they were putting on you. You... are soft. You're emotional, you care what people think. Now, if there's one thing you learn before leaving this place is that we, even the WEAKEST among us, are better than the best of them.

Zoe Benson: Are we gonna get arrested?

Fiona Goode: You are missing the point.

Madison Montgomery: Which is?

Fiona Goode: The point is... in this whole wide wicked world... the only thing you have to be afraid of... is me.

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Queenie: [Detroit, 2012] Let me get a 44, extra crispy!

Irate Customer: Yo! The medium bucket is supposed to have 8 pieces. This one has only 7.

Queenie: My name is not "Yo", it's "Queenie", and you must have miscounted because I packed that basket myself.

Irate Customer: Well, you must've got a D in Math 'cause there's only 7 pieces.

Queenie: Actually, sir, I got an A in Math, all of them. Calculus, Trig, Advanced Algebra.

Irate Customer: Is that so?

Queenie: Mm-hmm.

Irate Customer: Look, I'm sure you're a genius, just give me an extra piece of chicken and I'll be done here.

Queenie: Look, pencil dick, you ate the extra piece and, now, you want a freebie!

Irate Customer: I'd like to speak to the manager, stupid fat ass!

Queenie: What did you call me?

Irate Customer: Get the manager!

Queenie: [Angrily] I am the manager.

Irate Customer: [She sticks her hand in the burning hot oil, with her "Human Voodoo Doll" Power transferring the pain to the customer; He screams in agony as his whole hand and forearm burn] Help! I'm burning! Help!

[He continues screaming in agony]

Nan: Did they send you to jail?

Queenie: No. There were lots of witnesses, none of them had actually seen me throw the oil. But it made the local newspaper, that's how Miss Cordelia found me.

Cordelia Foxx: You didn't want to join us at first.

Queenie: I grew up on white girl shit like "Charmed" and "Sabrina, The Teenage Cracker". I didn't know that there even were black witches. As it turns out, I'm an heir to Tituba. She was a house slave in Salem. She was the first to be accused of witchcraft. So, technically, I'm part of your tribe.

Madison Montgomery: [Sarcastically] Is this were we all sing Kumbaya?

Queenie: Bitch, I will eat you!

Cordelia Foxx: Hey hey hey! Hey! You guys have got start taking care of each other. We have enough enemies on the outside.

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