Mass Effect 3 (2012 Video Game)

Tricia Helfer: EDI

Quotes 

• EDI : No matter how far we advance, we will remember the sacrifices of those who made it possible... And we will remember Shepard. Because of him... I am alive, and I am not alone.

• Commander Shepard - Male : How's the new body working out?

  EDI : It is interesting. The crew are approaching this platform to speak with me, even though they can do so anywhere on the ship. It's as if they wish to treat me as part of the crew. I am not, but this changes my perspective. I like it.

  Commander Shepard - Male : I didn't realize you had preferences.

  EDI : I do not precisely enjoy something as you do, but my programming contains priorities. Actions that fufill these priorities creates positive feedback for me. I tell the organic crew that I "like" it. It is shorthand.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Will all this new feedback be too distracting?

  EDI : Do not worry, Shepard. I only forget to recycle the Normandy's oxygen when I've discovered something truly interesting.

  [Shepard looks worried] 

  EDI : That was a joke.

• Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : I appreciate what you're doing here, Shepard.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Well, I care deeply about the Quarian people.

  Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : It's good to be back on the Normandy.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Let me know if it's too quiet for you to sleep, and I'll find you someplace louder.

  Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : Hmmm...

  Javik : I don't understand.

  EDI : Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during their fight against the Reapers.

  Javik : Mating between species? A pointless exercise.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Thank you, EDI.

• Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : EDI. So... a body?

  EDI : It has proven useful. I hope it doesn't cause you concern.

  Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : Not unless you go crazy and try to overthrow the humans.

  [Shepard and EDI stare at each other] 

  EDI : [to Tali]  If I decide to overthrow the humans, you will be the first to know.

• EDI : You'd just introduced me as your personal assistance mech.

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Yeah, that was the only way to get you inside.

  EDI : But you know I am not one. Why deceive others?

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : You don't want to really introduce yourself as an AI with Reaper-based code. They would... lynch you.

  EDI : That would be an inefficient way to render me nonfunctional.

• EDI : Shepard, I have a question about human behavior.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Why is it you never have questions about asari or turian behavior?

  EDI : I tried asking Liara questions about the asari mating process. She said I don't safeguard the secrets of the crew well enough to entrust me with such... private information. The asari word she used translates as "blabbermouth". I think she has become a more private person since she became the Shadow Broker.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Tell me about it...

• EDI : One moment. I have been contacted by Leigon's backup - the one you encountered on the dreadnought.

  Geth VI : [speaking through the intercom]  Your new platform is inefficient. It has low-volume hydraulics and is top-heavy.

  EDI : This is an infiltration unit, meant to move among organics without detection.

  Geth VI : Without an artificial epidermis, its infiltration capabilities are ineffective.

  EDI : Still, the organics do not perceive it as a threat. Nor will they until my day of reckoning.

  Commander Shepard - Male : EDI...

  EDI : Did I vocalize that on the bridge?

  Geth VI : You did. You have acquired the organic attribute of asking questions to which you already know the answers.

  EDI : I see your humor heuristics still lack an expert system.

• Commander Shepard - Female : What's on your mind, EDI?

  EDI : The destruction of the Reaper on Tuchanka. It is rare for a technologically superior force to be destroyed by such an inferior one.

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Great, so now all we need is a gun that fires Thresher Maws.

  EDI : [doesn't react at all] 

  Commander Shepard - Female : ...that was a joke.

  EDI : I'm sorry, Shepard. I was contemplating.

• EDI : I was running scenarios in my head to analyze Jeff's behavior. I believe he has a strong affectionate attachment to me, but he has not stated it to anyone yet. Shepard, you have firsthand sexual experience. How do you know when someone is romantically invested?

  Commander Shepard - Male : They'll usually show signs they can't stop thinking about you. You know: asking you out, giving you presents, maybe playing music...

  EDI : I lack material wants other than hardware and software upgrades, and my core programming does not assign values to music. Perhaps we could discuss how to provoke Jeff into an emotional commitment.

  Commander Shepard - Male : That's not how to think of it. It's got to be natural. You need chemistry.

  EDI : I see. There are a number of pharmaceuticals I could inject to simulate the desired emotional state.

• Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Hey, Commander! Check out my new copilot!

  Commander Shepard - Male : So she installed herself into the new body without any help from you?

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Come on, Commander. Don't you trust me? Okay, let me put it this way: if I knew EDI was gonna install herself into a sexy robot body, do you honestly think I'd be able to keep quiet about it?

  [gesturing towards EDI] 

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Look at that! I would've baked a cake!

  EDI : I am right here, Jeff.

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Yes you are, EDI. Yes you are.

• Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : I appreciate what you're doing here, Shepard.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Well, I care deeply about the quarian people.

  Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : It's good to be back on the Normandy.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Let me know if it's too quiet for you to sleep, and I'll find you someplace louder.

  Tali'Zorah vas Normandy : Hmm.

  Lt. James Vega : Okay, what am I missing?

  EDI : Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during their fight against the Collectors.

  Lt. James Vega : Too much information.

• EDI : It is good to know that Jack has thus far survived the Reaper invasion. I have amusing memories of her attempt to insert additions into my reports to the Illusive Man. Most of them centered around inappropriate uses of the word "cockpit."

• Commander Shepard - Male : What's going on, EDI?

  EDI : I am assisting Engineer Adams with his repair of the drive core shielding.

  Commander Shepard - Male : I should leave you to it, then.

  EDI : We can converse, if you like, Shepard. It is a routine proced - uh-oh.

  Commander Shepard - Male : What? What happened?

  EDI : Nothing. Unless you have strong feelings about gamma radiation.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Not funny, EDI.

  EDI : I almost had you. I will alter my humor chronometer appropriately for better timing.

• Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : I miss the days when Cerberus was just *hilariously* incompetent. You know, when you two ran things.

  Jacob Taylor : Excuse me?

  Miranda Lawson : The only thing I was in charge of was the Lazarus Project, which, you will note, was very successful.

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Hey, Commander, this is Cerberus. We were studying some rachni, and they got loose and killed all our guys. Can you take care of that? It's one system over from where we hooked some guy up to the geth, who then got loose and killed all our guys.

  Commander Shepard - Male : They did rack up quite a body count. At least back then, it was usually their own bodies.

  Jacob Taylor : We knew some cells were bad, but the Alliance and the Council weren't doing anything. And we were doing good work.

  Kasumi Goto : [briefly uncloaks on the floor, doing sit-ups]  And crunches. Lots of crunches.

  Commander Shepard - Male : Hey. Not okay, Kasumi.

  Miranda Lawson : But we did bring Commander Shepard back.

  Commander Shepard - Male : And after taking down the Collectors, I cut ties with Cerberus, got loose, and started killing all their guys.

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : For which we thank you.

  EDI : Jeff, do you remember that I am also a Cerberus project?

  Jeff 'Joker' Moreau : Aw, crap...

• EDI : [Before the final mission]  The Normandy is ready, Shepard. All systems are armed. All ammunition is loaded. All reloads have been manufactured. Thruster fuel is at maximum. Cyberwarfare suites have evolved in ways that it would be computationally impossible to predict. I have also kissed joker for luck.