Community (TV Series)

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (2011)

Alison Brie: Annie Edison

Photos 

Quotes 

• Annie Edison : Okay, come on, can we just do this? Hi, hello, I am Hector The Well Endowed. You've got a bunch of pegasi, let's make a deal.

  Abed Nadir : What kind of deal?

  Annie Edison : All right. I take her by the hand and lead her to the stable. I light a candle and rip off a piece of my tunic which I fashion into a blindfold.

  Abed Nadir : Oh, Hector, but I don't know if I...

  Annie Edison : Shhh, shhh. I place it gently over the elf maiden's eyes...

  [music swells and the dialogue fades as an extended montage of Annie and Abed describing their character's lovemaking takes place] 

  Abed Nadir : [exhales with satisfaction]  Okay, you both fall back exhausted but still entwined.

  Annie Edison : [cheerfully]  Great, I stroke her hair lovingly and spoon her for the appropriate amount of time before leaving.

  Troy Barnes : [taking notes]  How long is that?

• Annie Edison : [reading character sheet]  I am... ew, Hector the Well-Endowed? Abed.

  Abed Nadir : I didn't know you'd just grab one at random. I made that with Troy in mind.

  [he and Troy share their personal handshake] 

• Jeff Winger : Pierce, you've made your point. You can ruin anything. Now come back and give Neil his sword.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Can't hear you over the sound of me rubbing his sword on my balls.

  Shirley Bennett : [scolding]  Pierce!

  Annie Edison : [disgustedly]  Oh, ew.

  Abed Nadir : You have successfully rubbed your balls on the sword.

• Narrator : But pain need not be spoken to be known. Not to all. It was, strangely, Jeff the Liar, son of William the Barely Known, who first became concerned.

  Jeff Winger : Neil.

  Narrator : It was Jeff who pretended to be interested in Dungeons & Dragons in an effort to lift Neil's spirits. And when Jeff's fake interest resulted in Neil giving Jeff all his books, explaining he wouldn't need them anymore, it was Annie the Dayplanner, herself a recovering headcase, that recognized the signs of coming doom. A council was called. Troy the Obtuse. Shirley the Cloying.

  Shirley Bennett : [overlapping]  Hee-hee-hee. I know.

  Narrator : Abed the Undiagnosable.

  Britta Perry : [overlapping]  Julian Assange is a modern-day Paine.

  Narrator : Britta the Needlessly Defiant. For reasons that should be obvious, Pierce the Insensitive, known also as Pierce the Dickish, and Grandpa the Flatulent, was not invited. The group agreed that what Fat Neil needed most was to feel like a winner for a change. They would invite Neil that Saturday to a game of Dungeons & Dragons designed by Abed to help Neil reclaim his confidence.

  Jeff Winger , Shirley Bennett , Britta Perry , Annie Edison , Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir , Señor Chang : For Neil.

  Narrator : At the end of the meeting, they realized that Chang had been there and felt too awkward to mention it. What they couldn't have known was that they had just scheduled the most important game of Dungeons & Dragons ever. A game which not only might save a life, but which would forever change the balance between good and Pierce.