- [first lines]
- The Fortune Teller: You are strong and reliable. In times of stress, you can always be counted on to get the job done.
- Tanker: Boy, that's me exactly.
- Sam Collins: Tank, I've heard the same words used to describe a toilet bowl cleaner.
- Amp Ere: I cleaned a toilet bowl once. First, I sprinkled laundry soap in my hair. And then I...
- Sam Collins: Amp. Save it for your memoirs, okay?
- Sam Collins: Face it, guys. Nobody changes that much. We are who we are.
- Amp Ere: I had a pet rock once that changed into a pet stone.
- Sam Collins: Okay, I need your birthdate, zodiac sign, social security number, height, and... bikini size.
- Jennifer Doyle: Sam.
- Sam Collins: Okay, I'll leave out the height.
- Jennifer Doyle: Malcolm, you're sick, twisted, and selfish.
- Malcom Frink: I know.
- Jennifer Doyle: I like that in a man.
- [last lines]
- Malcom Frink: Sam, how does it feel to be a Grade A homogenized wimp and I've got your girl?
- Sam Collins: Jeez, Macolm. You must have gotten an old newspaper. 'Cause I'm not a wimp.
- Tanker: And I'm not a nerd.
- Amp Ere: And I'm not a quarter inch socket wrench.
- Jennifer Doyle: And I'm not your girl.
- Sydney Forrester: We've all changed, punk.
- Malcom Frink: Ah, then why aren't you nice? Syd?
- Sydney Forrester: I am nice. That's why I didn't rip your face off.
- [Sydney shoves Malcolm in a locker]
- Malcom Frink: Jennifer. Does this mean our date is off? Jennifer?