Plot

Everyone is frustrated with Mike for being off his game - he gets the roommates kicked out of a club, gets the car towed, practically burns down the house, and proves to be a failure as a wingman for Pauly. Twice!

Previously: Vinnie gets cozy with Ramona, which catches the attention of The Situation, who hits on the girl (and gets rejected). The Situation, who is clearly upset, then makes everybody angry by telling them that they have to leave the club. Snooki ERUPTS.

Now: A drunk Snooki vents to her visiting best friend in the cab. She is sick and tired of The Situation. Later, the gang heads back to the house -- and Vinny immediately takes Ramona to the smoosh room. Soon, they are naked. The next morning, The Situation crawls into bed with Snooki and apologizes for his behavior the night before. "I had a bad day, honey," The Situation says. "I'm sorry." Snooki accepts the apology.

Vinny, meanwhile, says goodbye to Ramona. It doesn't appear that either got much sleep. He tells Sweetheart that he can imagine marrying this woman. CUT TO Snooki, who is distraught that her best friend has left. "I want to be at home right now!" Snooki cries. "I miss my hometown. I miss my family." Vinny comes outside to comfort her. "He's like my big brother," Snooki tells the camera. "I love him ... but you usually don't have sex with your big brother." Excellent point, Snooks.

The Situation and Pauly D. then head out to get haircuts (and to have their eyebrows trimmed) while JWoww and Snooki plan their night out. Turns out the gang is heading to Space, which is apparently the greatest club EVER. "Space means, like, guido, juicehead gorillas, sexy, tan, sweaty boys," Snooki explains to the camera. So the housemates get ready and JWoww emerges wearing, well, almost nothing. But no matter! That's what Space is all about. Sure enough, the enormous club is PACKED with similarly nearly naked bodies. It's not long before Snooki gets in a shouting match with strangers.

Soon, The Situation also begins screaming at the two dudes, who scream back. Security arrives -- and kicks everybody out of the club. Ronnie is heartbroken. Pauly D. is also upset, but attempts to salvage the night by grabbing "two hot chicks." Pauly D. and The Situation then head back to the house -- and immediately take the girls to bed.

Unfortunately, the girls "want to talk a lot," according to Pauly D. It is soon revealed that The Situation's lady has only slept with ONE man in her life. "Mike realizes that his girl is not DTF," Pauly D. tells the camera. So The Situation turns rather cruel, telling the girl to kindly sit in the living room and wait for her friend to finish having sex with Pauly D. The Situation, in the meantime, plans to go to sleep. His completely dismissive behavior causes Pauly D.'s girl to leave with her friend, blaming The Situation. "I could have got it in, but didn't get it in because of Mike," Pauly D. complains to the camera. Nice.

The next morning, Pauly D. tells the whole story Vinny. The Situation, in the meantime, tells his version of the story -- in which he was NOT rejected, but decided his lady was an unworthy grenade -- to JWoww. It's like "Rashomon"! Vinny and Pauly D. then head to the beach with Ramona and her bikini-clad friend. Sweetheart and Ronnie join them. It's a couples' afternoon out. Back at the house, The Situation is cooking dinner and accidentally sets off the fire alarm. Sure enough, fire trucks soon arrive.

JWoww takes one look at the firefighters and declares them: "Prime A meat." Snooki is also impressed. "He looked Italian, so, I would've smooshed that, yes," she tells the camera. After dinner, the group is relaxing on the couch when Sweetheart asks if she looks "exotic." "You look Asian," Ronnie says. "I like it." Considering that Ronnie's ex girlfriend is Asian, this is the WRONG thing to say. Sweetheart storms out of the room. Naturally, this ridiculous spat turns into a major conflict. Ronnie, in a rare moment of clarity, points out that Sweetheart is riddled with insecurities.

In the meantime, JWoww and Snooki use a blackboard to figure out who is connected to whom in the house via hookup. It quickly becomes apparent that just about everybody has had their roommate's sloppy seconds at some point. The common denominator is usually Snooki, in fact. "I'm a whore," Snooki says. "Whatever." Later, The Situation and Vinny head out to do laundry and tan. When they finish, The Situation discovers that his car has been towed. He parked illegally one too many times.

They decide to walk to the impound lot, which takes a looooong time. "This is like the guido version of the 'Amazing Race,' Vinny quips. The Situation drops $175 to retrieve his Escalade, complaining that he could've used the money to take a girl to dinner or buy new sneakers. The boys then head to the clubs and spot two blondes. "They were from Canadia," The Situation explains. They are also, apparently, DTF. The Situation and Pauly D. are so confident, in fact, that they spray cologne down their pants.

But, again, it doesn't work out. The girls announce that they are only going to stay for a few minutes, which sets off The Situation. "Why don't you leave now?" he asks. Insulted, the ladies do. Pauly D. is again disappointed in his wingman, whose aggressive nature with the ladies has backfired the second straight night. "I could definitely teach him something about being a wingman," Pauly D. tells the camera.