- [first lines]
- Sydney Forrester: Four subcutaneous hair follicles on ear lobe. Check. One mole, two centimeters round on neck. Got it. Hmm. Wow! Tanker, you have seven, no, make that eight small freckles on your shoulder.
- Tanker: Aw, it's nothing.
- Sydney Forrester: Amazing. That must account for all sorts of personality traits.
- Tanker: Me and Syd are partners for the biology experiment. Investigating how physiology affects behavior. She thinks I'm a fascinating subject. I get to look her over next.
- Sam Collins: Ooh. Careful, big guy. You may actually find out how girls are different from boys.
- Kilokahn: [Kilokahn is in Malcolm Frink's body] Odd. An obsolete version of human software. Why has she not been upgraded?
- Mrs. Starkey: I'll upgrade you upside your head, Bucky. I come like fine wine, I get better with age. So if you want to live to see college, watch who you're calling obsolete.
- Kilokahn: Impudent program! I will degauss you from my sight!
- Sam Collins: I, I'm sorry, Mrs. Starkey. We're practicing for a play. Much Ado About Modems.