- George Burns: Isn't Gracie wonderful? Ya know that she's not the least bit jealous of me? It's true. When I was first courting her we were walking down the street and a pretty girl passed and I whistled at her. You know what Gracie did? She liked what I was whistling and she joined in.
- George Burns: Pretty women have caused trouble all through history. Look at Cleopatra and Helen of Troy, they lived back in uh - in um - in um... oh, way back... far, far back. That's part of the trouble they caused in history, they made me flunk.
- George Burns: There's a saying that married couples fight because it's wonderful to make up. The Mortons have been married for 12 years, they haven't made up yet, but when they do it ought to be a beauty.
- Gracie Allen: [Blanche and Gracie look at dinner menus] Everything looks so good. Blanche, what are you gonna have?
- Blanche Morton: I don't know. I think I'll have just what you have.
- Gracie Allen: Oh, wonderful, I'll have the same thing.
- Blanche Morton: Peter, what would you recommend?
- Peter the Waiter: That couple over there just had some lobsters.
- Blanche Morton: Oh, lobsters.
- Peter the Waiter: They're here from Baltimore, they're here to see the sights.
- Gracie Allen: Oh. Well, if they're here to see the sights, it would spoil their fun if we ate them.
- Gracie Allen: Oh you know, sometimes we women get so sick and tired of the kind of men we married, we wish we hadn't married them. And if there were any other kinda men, we wouldn'ta married them either!
- George Burns: What have we rats been doing now?
- Gracie Allen: Oh, dear, I don't mean you. I was talking about men, so don't take it personally.