- Sheriff Mike Thompson: I appreciate mythical creature, all right, I really do. Well, except for mermaids. You know, where do they get off, sitting up on the rocks all high and mighty, expecting you to ask them out on a date? I mean, why they so stuck up? I mean, if you have fish, you gonna smell all like fish, you understand?
- Deputy Liv Baker: Gross.
- D'Arcy Bloom: You don't fart around your wife? What's the point of being married if you can't fart around your wife?
- Deputy Liv Baker: Maybe it was a U...
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Deputy, no.
- Deputy Liv Baker: F...
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Please don't. Please.
- Deputy Liv Baker: O.
- Sheriff Mike Thompson: Dammit!
- [Harry is packing for his trip to New York]
- Sahar: [knocks on Harry's cabin door] Hello?
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [to himself] What?
- Sahar: [from outside] I know you're in there.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [picks up Murphy the dog and goes to the bedroom]
- 42: [telepathically to Harry] Do not put that thing in here with me; I'm trying to read.
- Sahar: [opens the cabin's Dutch doors and enters cabin] . Hello!
- Harry Vanderspeigle: [closes bedroom door after putting Murphy in there] This is a home invasion. Why are you alone? Where is shit-for-brains? Did you get a divorce?
- Sahar: Divorce is against my religion, unless it's initiated by the man, which is why I'm never getting married.
- Harry Vanderspeigle: That is good news for men everywhere.