- Francine Smith: Steve, I know I said violence was never the answer, but it has just become the answer. I'm gonna teach you how to kick your father's ass!
- Steve Smith: Good! That ass needs a pounding!
- Francine Smith: Yeah. That's what your father said last night.
- Steve Smith: [After bully Stan throws a coffee in his face] Ah! It's in my eye!
- [And before Stan can respond]
- Steve Smith: I know, I know - that's what Mom said last night.
- Stan Smith: That right!
- [Nodding happily]
- Stan Smith: While I was doing her! Bah-Boom!
- Francine Smith: [to Stan] You followed Steve all day?
- Stan Smith: Yeah. I do stuff like that. Followed you last week. I don't know what you thought was in your butthole in the Target parking lot, but you were... you were really trying to find it.
- Roger the Alien: [to Klaus] Remember we were watching CSI, I said I want to do that, you said you totally should, ring a bell?
- Klaus: No. Are you sure you weren't high on angel dust and talking to the ceiling fan?
- Steve Smith: [to Stan] Why do you care how I get those oranges up those steps, I can pay someone to do it for me just like I'm paying Stelio to kick your ass
- Francine Smith: [to Steve] I'm not good for you, you're so frustrating, I'm gonna go to SeaWorld, punch a dolphin
- Stan Smith: [to Steve] I had a bully once. Stelio Kontos was his name. He was as mean as he was Greek. He made my life a living hell. He totally tormented me. One time, he made me keep a live bat in my underpants all day. Gave me ass rabies. My anus was frothing like a cappuccino. Anyway, that olive-skinned bastard made me into the man I am today.
- Steve Smith: The kind that bullies his own son?
- Stan Smith: Right
- Reginald: [when he's not allowed on a ride at the amusement park] Oh, come on, man. You got to let me on. I'm trying to create a moment with this girl. I respect this bitch. I love this bitch.
- Jeff Fischer: [to Hayley] How's Yerhugeva Gina?
- Hayley Smith: Oh, Yerhugeva? She's good. She's back in Croatia for the winter with the rest of the Gina family.
- Stan Smith: [Bullying his son onto the pavement] Give me your wallet.
- Steve Smith: Stop!
- [Struggling with his dad while on the ground]
- Steve Smith: get off of me!
- Stan Smith: Yeah that's what your Mom said last night!
- Francine Smith: Oh, you're worrying about a hill of bananas.
- Stan Smith: Am I? I don't think so.
- [Then thinking for a moment]
- Stan Smith: By the way, "hill of bananas"? I like that. Is that a real expression?
- Francine Smith: No.
- Stan Smith: [Smiling and point at her] Good for you!
- [She smiles back at him]
- Stan Smith: [Stealing Steve's bike] Well I'm going to mount this and ride it Hard! Like I did your mom last night.